5:41am .

It simply doesn't get any better than this. Well worth getting up for any day of the week. 

When No One Else Is Looking .

Judging a person's character is not always easy to do. Sometimes it takes a long time and you really need to spend a long time getting to know someone in order to actually get a bearing on what they're all about. Some are more up front about the type of person they are, but who knows if they are just saying all this? You see, good person or not, true humility is not about doing good deeds specifically to be noticed. Good deeds are good deeds, true values exist regardless of whose eyes are upon you.

And I think that is where the difference quite clearly lays. In order to prove this point, you may have to be a little creepy. Because the people with the purest and truest hearts are those who are inherently good people, always helping and consoling and offering their love to others, when no one is even looking. In a society so often immersed with performance-based rewards, we sometimes think that we should always be recognized and congratulated on our efforts towards a good deed.

Instead, you should try to make them less noticeable. You may not get a medal, you may not get a pat on the back, you may be the only one in the whole universe who actually knows. But whoever you went out of your way to help, whoever you affected by your actions, they will remember it for the rest of their lives.

Having complete and total humility is one of my biggest goals in life. To be able to honestly want to offer myself where I am needed, to whomever is in need of a prayer. I think that I don't really do that enough. I do try to reach out, and the few who I think I have touched have really been so appreciative.

Having been on the receiving end of that, it's such an awesome feeling. To know that people out there truly give a shit. That they truly want to be there for you no matter how long it's been since you last chatted, to get your back, to help you back up off the ground, and all of the other wonderful things friends do. Sometimes they come out of the woodwork just in the nick of time. But even more amazing? Those who are strangers. The person who stops on the side of the road when your car breaks down. The person who helps put groceries in your car. There are some truly amazing people out there.

Keep your eyes and ears open today. Stop the busy highway of thoughts running through your brain of things you need to do, food you need to buy, and errands you need to run, and just watch the people around you. See if you can spot these secret little knights in shining armor, doing their great work in the shadows, without anyone else even noticing.

Break the Cycle

As the days pass I think many of us get into habits that become so rigid we forget how to get out of that rut. Walk the same path enough times and it becomes second nature. Run your car through the same tracks enough times and pretty soon it's actually difficult to not drive in the path. With work schedules the way they are, most people function on the Monday to Friday 9-5 schedule, and therefore everything else is just sort of fit in around it.

My morning starts at 4:45am. That's the first alarm -- the one that says, you don't need to get up right now, but soon. The second alarm goes off at 5am. This is the one that says, you should probably get up now. If I'm really tired I'll wait for the third one and turn this one off. Finally the third one goes off at 5:05am, and it's the one that says, get out of bed man you gotta be at work soon and you need time to eat and everything else! The ringtone is even a jolting one too (ever seen the opening to CSI: Miami? That's what it is) to make sure I wake up.

By 5:15am I'm changed and out to breakfast (always been one to shower the night before; it's nice being clean when you get into bed). I literally take virtually the same path, as I grab my dishes, a box of cereal, daily vitamin, drink, open the blinds, and then sit down and open my laptop. While I eat, I catch up on blogs, look at some architecture articles, and check email.

Normally by 5:30am I am finished eating and make my lunch for the day and brush my teeth, at which point I sit down in the same chair facing the same way each day and put on my boots. I close the pantry, hit the lights, lock the door on my way out, and I'm off to work. It even goes so far that I always take the same route to work, the same route through the parking lot, and park in the same spot.

Now maybe it was a little ridiculous to explain one hour of my day in such detail just to illustrate a point. But I do all this virtually without even thinking. Just this morning, there was an event going on super early and as a result there were a lot more people at the club at 6am than normal. It threw off my whole morning routine and I even ended up forgetting things that I normally do.

I think, though, that these small intrusions are part of what makes life interesting. It keeps you on your toes. And when our time in this life is limited, it's important to remember how easy it is to fall into the "boring old daily routine." And then avoid it. Keep things interesting. Take a new way to work. Mix it up.

I've mentioned this before but I often forget how each day is such a gift. That each day can be completely and totally special. And quite honestly, each day should be. Last night I asked my brother if he wanted to do something and we just grabbed some Wawa for dinner and headed out to Sandy Hook. I haven't been to the city in around six months and I've been dying to go. I recently read an article that Freedom Tower is now just about complete, since adding the antenna on, and I have to say it is breathtaking.

As the haze settled over the water last night and sun dropped below the horizon, Freedom Tower stood alone in the skyline, virtually twice as tall as anything near it. I remember as a kid when I used to go to Sandy Hook with the family and see the twin towers standing there proudly. According to the article, if the antenna counts in the overall height, it will be the tallest building in America. How appropriate -- Freedom first.

Today, break the cycle of what your everyday life is used to. Try something new. Be a different person today. Treat yourself. Do something crazy. Whatever happens, make memories. Every day is precious, and memories are all we really have to hold on to them.

The Words No One Wants to Hear: Unemployment

In the economy as of late, money seems to be a problem that plagues the lives of just about everyone across the country, maybe even across the world. And while the stock market and perhaps the government would have us believe that things are getting better, an article I saw today speaks otherwise. Unemployment continues to grow. The "fixes" that we have implemented may produce fake advances in the economy, and are more often than not temporary solutions to problems that, in my opinion, will continue to grow.

Check the link here.

With two more years of school ahead of me, I consider myself lucky in that I have a few more years to gain some new connections and begin to search out a permanent (or at least semi-permanent) place to work once I graduate. At the same time, I am not exactly thrilled that I will be accumulating more debt for my education. But what is one to do? If the job market is bad, do as many in the past have done; go to school and get more education, and hope that by the time you're done with school, the economy will be doing a little better.

With potentially catastrophic economic problems looming on the horizon, it's far too easy to just sweep the terrible thoughts and horror stories under the rug and pretend that we'll be able to deal with them another day. I'm not sure if a day will come within the near future where I feel completely calm about the future. We're all here trying to make a life, a career, settle down into something good.

It seems that in the coming years, according to this article, life will only get harder. As the saying goes, sometimes it's gotta get worse before it gets better. But where will rock bottom be? Only time will tell. Maybe in the end we'll all have to abandon some dreams and adopt new ones.

It's really hard to look at the future and stay positive. There are so many what-ifs. What if I graduate and can't get a job. What if I can't find a job within my career path. What if all that college tuition and time spent in education is wasted?

I guess in the end what the difference is now is to really put the pressure on myself to hold myself to a standard of excellence. Keep motivated, stay focused, don't give up. Every little ounce I can get myself ahead of the competition, I have to. Competitions, side projects, architectural networking, connections with my professors. If I really want to accomplish the things in life that I don't want to give up, it's what I have to do. Day one.

Memories & Dust

I spent the majority of yesterday listening to one specific pandora station and writing down the songs that I enjoyed from it. Every once in awhile I'll come across a station that just seems absolutely perfect. The songs carry your moods like the moon carries the waves gently to the shore, and come the chorus, your heart takes flight. One such song was a tune by Josh Pyke called Memories & Dust. It's definitely worth the time if you've got a minute. 

Often I wish that I had the money and the time to get in my car and just drive. It doesn't matter where I go or if I even have a destination. Sometimes the best part about being in the car is just moving, feeling like you are on the road to some heavenly place that never really comes into reach. Is perfection unattainable or do Utopias exist? I think that the answer is simple -- we find the most perfect places on our mind and thoughts. The special places that only we can access, the special places that only we have the key to, that is not simply hidden in the back of the sock drawer, but rather in a mental safe, miles behind the densest metals, password protected in every way imaginable. And should anyone ever have the privilege to access this space, may God bless their soup because they have been given a true gift. 

And thus we come to the title of this post. Memories & dust. From dust we came, and to dust we shall return. But our memories live on. And our memories are eternal, and while all other things around us may seem like they are crumbling, the memories remain steadfast.

Many are often quick to remind friends who are struggling to not live in the past. But to forget memories is to lose a part of ourselves, to allow them to become the very dust which we are to return to one day. Instead may we cherish the memories, embrace them; good bad and ugly. May we learn from our mistakes and soar through our successes. May our frustrations and shortcomings challenge us to be better, act better, and live life abundantly. I love that phrase: live life abundantly. I first heard it in the movie Seven Pounds starring Will Smith and I've embraced it as a virtue, a reminder to not wallow or despair, to not mope or allow negativity to pollute the mind. It's not always easy. In fact it probably never is. But it's a new beginning. An attempted fresh start.

Today, allow yourself some time to relive your memories. Feel elation from your triumphs, and feel pain from your despairs. But no matter what do not allow yourself to bury any of your memories! They are the quilt that wraps us and protects us from the cold night. And they will always, always, be solely yours. 

Lessons Learned From Seeming Happenstance .

There is a pretty large number of things in my life that I cannot explain. Of those things, I attribute a large percentage to some sort of practical decision that was not my own. Imagine if Life and you were playing a board game. But your hands were tied behind your back, and you didn't actually know who Life was, but just sort of watched the pieces move in front of you.

Now imagine that this Life character is God.

There are tons of quotes out there that reflect upon the idea that God is watching out for us in good times and in bad. That no matter how hard the shit hits the fan, no matter how often we stumble in our lives, no matter how often we overlook our virtues, make excuses for ourselves, beat ourselves up with guilt, treat people badly (including ourselves), and destroy pieces of this great Earth that was bestowed upon us, that no matter anything. He is with us.

Last night my brother and I talked about religion. We have different viewpoints, and our experiences with the church and all that being a Catholic entails have been pretty different too. But here are some stories and anecdotes of why I am a believer. There are things that have happened to me that cannot simply be explained by coincidence. There are too many levels of depth, too many unexplainable occurrences. The threads run deep, and often we can't tell when they all come together to make a knot -- but the journey there is certainly a hell of a ride.

The best example is my most recent breakup. I know that has played a large part in the subject matter in this blog for the past few months, but humor me.

After the breakup, I wanted to make sure I wouldn't have to deal with seeing this person who destroyed me all summer, and feverishly applied to a bunch of architecture related jobs so we wouldn't be working at the same place. I embraced a serious grudge into my heart and instead of addressing it, threw myself into schoolwork, and used it to fuel me into my applications. In the grand scheme of things, maybe this wasn't the best but everyone finds their ways to cope. Finals were coming up and I didn't want it to affect that (though I think in some ways it did).

As it turned out I didn't find anything in the job field related to architecture. I was stuck back at the country club. Stuck having to see a person I couldn't stand every day. And I hated every minute of it. I dreaded every single day. I relished my days off and blocked out everything I could at work.

I was still looking for architecture jobs, and but maybe not entirely for the right reasons. I got in contact with a random guy on Twitter, and asked if he was hiring anyone for the summer. He told me he was a one-man operation, but would keep me in mind.

He did tell me about an AIA function though, that he said he could put me down as his guest for. While he personally didn't offer me a job, he thought that maybe I could at least make some connections there. So I got out my finest suit, brought along a notebook and headed up to North Jersey a few days later.

While I was there, I looked at the projects and such but I've never really been good at schmoozing with people that I don't know. I felt a little bit out of my league. Even just hearing the conversations; most of these people were license with projects and more under their belt. Out of nowhere, a tall intimidating man marched right up to me and introduced himself, and commented that I look like a student. I said I was, and I was looking for jobs for the summer.

By the end of the talk, he had given me his contact info, and pretty much told me (as opposed to asking) to come in for an interview the very next day.

I went in the next afternoon, talked with four or five people, and ended up chatting with the HR guy for almost two hours.

Four days later, when I was on vacation, I got a call from the HR rep saying I got the job. Unfortunately, given my long commute (1.5 hours each way) and the poor salary ($10/hr) relative to my current working situation, I was forced to decline, as I really need the money for grad school.

And so I was forced to stay at the country club. I felt good knowing that I could still get a job, though. I've always believed that if I could just get into an interview, I'd get an offer. That was a great boost to my confidence. And even though I'm still at the country club and never ended up landing an architecture job this summer, I'm happy I got one interview under my belt.

But I think that I wasn't supposed to work there. God wanted me to get the job, and feel the elation of earning it with my own skill set and my own interview, but he wanted me to be stuck at Trump. Because he wanted me to learn how to forgive. He wanted me to learn compassion, and to get over the grudge that I harbored so deep inside. And if I just ran away from my problems, yes I would be escaping, but the problem wouldn't be fixed. And I'd end up moving to Oregon already damaged.

Over the past week or so, I've found it in my heart to forgive. And I've made that known to the parties involved. It took a really long time, but I realized that I didn't want to move to the other half of the country without at least attempting amends. It would simply continue to rot me away over time. Maybe the journey doesn't end here. But I think it was definitely one of the key moments.

If we want to get even deeper, we could even say that that particular relationship itself was a gift and a challenge to better myself at communicating in relationships, managing personal space and lives while miles and miles apart; forcing us to become closer through all that we had -- being text messages, voicemails, picture messages, talking on the phone, and Skype.

And even deeper that maybe the reason for that separation in the first place was to gain a more solid appreciation for all those things intangible that happen in a relationship that many people take for granted.

This thread of life is a pretty epic one if I do say so myself. Yet only a small piece of the loom that weaves together to form everything we know as our own respective lives.

Other times, if I just mention them quickly, include that when I prayed I would always feel tingles run down the same places in my body; and know that that was representative of my prayers being heard. Do you know how awesome it is to pray and feel like it's not just you talking to nothing, but rather having a conversation?

Years ago when I used to sail, I used to always feel my grandfather with me. He loved sailing, and when I was out on the boat with the wind in my sails, I could feel him there, smiling. Loving the minute, hearing the water lapping up against the boat as you heeled in the stiff breeze, roasting under the sun but beaming.

Is there such a thing as coincidence? Maybe. Is there a God? Maybe. But whatever you believe in, whatever religion you practice, whether you practice at all or not, one thing can be certain -- there are lessons to be found in those moments will affect your life in ways no one could have expected.

Wawa Bro Talks .

I spent the night with someone who means a lot to me, talking about life. What started off as a casual trip to Wawa turned into serious life talks about lifestyle, self examination, relationships and more.

We opted to spend the time as my brother normally does with his friends, plopped on the lip of the bed of the truck, with a hoagie and a drink. I think perhaps it is this sort of casual setting that breeds some of the most interesting conversations. It's even better that I have someone who can simultaneously relate to what I have to say and also challenge my viewpoints.

The dead quiet of the lot envelops us now as the night grows later, save for the few late night visitors to the convenience store or gas station. However, despite the void lot, my heart is full and my spirit grows stronger with the talks like these.

What sorts of places breed ponderous conversations for you? Who are the people that bring out the best in you?

Because Two Wheels Are Better Than Four .

Since the Tour de France is now in full swing and Chris Froome is charging up mountains leaving the peloton in the dust, I've been inspired, as is the case every year, to get on the bike more often. It's really awesome to see the progress of your legs getting stronger each time you go out and ride. After getting absolutely dumped on by the rain yesterday, I lucked out enough today to have good weather (relatively... because honestly, 90 degrees and 1000% humidity is certainly not ideal) to get in a nice long ride. I haven't done a 50 miler in quite some time, and honestly it was a challenge.

I got a cyclocomputer back in the spring, and since that has distance, total mileage, time spent riding, and average speed, I set a goal of 15mph for the ride, which would put me at finishing around 3 hours 15 minutes. As it turns out, I finished the ride with an average speed of 17.8mph, putting me at 2 hours 40 minutes. I'd consider it a successful day! And to think, while that pretty much exhausted my energy supply for the day (my legs are definitely going to feel it tomorrow...) the guys riding in the Tour today rode literally three times as much as I did today. Absolute insanity. And the last 15 miles or so to the finish was all uphill, mostly at a 10% grade (which is a lot) and even as much as a 25% grade (which is total death!).

I'm so glad I'm into cycling. It's good for you, it challenges you, you can ride with a group or ride solo, you can do intervals or sprints, hill repeats, cruises, whatever really suits your fancy. And you can surprise yourself with how far, or how fast, or how long you can go.

Being that I'm moving to Oregon in September, one of the things I look forward to the most is the bike scene out there. With mountains practically within a stone's throw, and a good number of roads designated as "bike greenways" there will be a bunch of opportunities to get out and ride in some truly breathtaking places! I'm going to try to convince my roommate to get into it, but if not, I'm sure there are plenty of groups to hitch along with! What a cool way to not only experience the natural beauty out there, but also to meet a lot of people. I couldn't be more excited!

It's my belief that places are experienced better on two wheels. It's far faster than walking or running, but not so fast as driving in a car, where you might miss things. Normally when I ride on my own I put in my iPod and listen to music the whole time, but today I left the music at home and just let my thoughts run rampant. You can look around, experience the beauty, notice the little things, talk some motivation into your legs and push through the hard stuff. If you haven't been on a bike, maybe it's time to try! And if your bike is still collecting dust in the garage... why not give it a whirl? Like I said -- the world is experienced better in a saddle on two wheels.

Change is Scary, but Good .

Since the time I started blogging over two years ago, I have always attempted to keep myself to a required schedule of writing a post a day (with the exception of a few terms of hiatus). For many people, having such a schedule usually only induces stress and disappointment as they struggle to deal with chaotic schedules both personally and professionally. For the most part, I have found the allotted time slot in which to write a welcome reprieve from the busy days that fill my life. However, over the past month or so, I am beginning to realize that there is just too much going on right now, and I have no doubt that when school starts that will only multiply. While I think that writing everyday is great and has been a real benefit for me, it is quite evident, especially in the past few weeks, that it has become another weight that I can only attempt to balance, and that my blog has been neglected a bit lately.

That being said, I've decided that I'm not going to try to require to post everyday anymore. I initially had expectations of something like a daily insight or something like that, and when I publish them into books I would have that for years to come. But, while not always welcome, change is something that happens whether we want it to or not, inadvertent or desired. And often times, if change is pushing that hard, the best thing to do is relinquish your grasp on the past and simply allow it to run its course. While I am mildly disappointed at giving up on the initial plan, I think that writing when inspiration hits me most will allow each and every one of my posts to be a more of a true gem, rather than a forced insight to the day.

In many ways, not keeping to a schedule often contributes to a forgotten blog. But just because the schedule isn't every day doesn't mean that it can't exist at all. I haven't quite decided what to do just yet. I wonder if maybe a schedule is just silly. But I do like the idea of something on Monday mornings, something to kick off the week for readers on a high note. So that's that for right now.

Moving in a slightly different direction, I've begun to write a lot of snail mail. Some people respond and some people don't, but regardless it's fun to send stuff out. It's even more fun to get return letters in the mail from friends. I'd like to extend the invitation to all the readers out there of sending mail back and forth. A few weeks ago I got a letter from Angie from "the best part of my day" and it was one of the best things I could have received. It really picked me up that day and honestly carried me through the whole week! I also am planning to set up a sort of quarterly newsletter that just sort of contains things about my life to keep my friends in the loop. It's not something they need to respond to, but it at least keeps people in the loop, even if they don't respond. Maybe it will be a good replacement for my lack of a Facebook. Probably more fun too, because you can keep it tucked away somewhere. Who knows. Something I want to try at least. If you're interested, feel free to shoot me an email at asmallpieceofgodsplan(at)gmail.com

And finally, I'm opening the floor to guest-posters! Admittedly I don't have a ton of followers so it's not like you're going to get huge amounts of publicity, but if you have something you'd like to talk about, a topic you'd like commented on round-table fashion, or just ramblings you'd like to be shared, hit me up. Even if you just want to shoot the shit for a while through email. Hope you all have a wonderful end to the week.

Shooting Stars .

Until a few nights ago, I had never seen a shooting star. At least not that I remember... I do occasionally hear about some astrological anomaly and try to get in on the action of seeing it, but there's always clouds or something that screws it up. I am pretty sure I've seen Jupiter or Venus before with the naked eye though (I know those two are wildly different...).

However, I finally saw a shooting star. Two, to be exact. It's quite possible that I saw them before and never knew what they were. Because after all, they sort of seem to fall instead of "shoot" across the sky. But for that short blip where purple fire seems to shoot across the sky, that is when the magic happens. Real magic. The sort of stuff that will always sort of blow your mind, will always take you by surprise, and will always put a smile on your face.

I might never see another shooting star in my life. But in that moment, it was perfect. It made a perfect night out looking up at the sky even more perfect. The clouds parted, the stars began to shine, and I walked back to my car with sand between my toes. Now that is what summer is all about.

Going Out on a Limb .

It is not an easy thing to decipher the messages that life sends you. Sometimes there are too many coincidences in too many places at too many specific times that puts you in a certain situation where there is an opportunity you can't refuse (how's that for a mouthful...). It is in these times that we ask ourselves whether we should seize said opportunity, or pass it up. I'm a big fan of the phrase "Carpe Diem". For those of you who don't speak Latin (I belong to that group) or who have not seen Dead Poet's Society (great film, if you're looking for some entertainment), it means "seize the day."

Seize the day. Here's my definition: Take that which has been put forth before you today, and run with it. Proceed cautiously at first, but should you choose to pursue, pursue with vigor and ferocity. Be ripe with anticipation and excitement, and revel in the challenges that come your way as a result.

Sometimes this requires going out on a limb a little bit. It requires reaching a little bit further than that which is within your comfort zone. And in those moments, all one can do is take a deep breath, and leap. In that instant, time stops still and all you have is you, and your decision to stick to your guns for that moment.

Sometimes you crash and burn. But sometimes, just sometimes, you watch your dreams unfold in front of you.

A Financial Burden .

A headline in the local paper caught my eye today, and upon reading the article it talked about how many retirees are now in higher debt than they have ever been in in their life. The reason? Lavish spending? No job to support a normal lifestyle anymore? No. None of those things that might make sense -- rather, they are indebted because of the help necessary to provide their kids with money to pay off debt accumulated from a college education.

People often worry that when they grow old that they might be a burden on their kids -- whether financial, or health and general care; but I can't imagine ever being afraid of debt that serious happening that late in life. I imagine it feels an awful lot like a hole that you simply cannot dig yourself out of -- unless you die.

When I was applying to schools, four or five years ago, there wasn't a second thought in my head of how much debt I would be in, or how I would pay for things. I knew that I would get what scholarships I could, and honor the deal that my parents have always had for the kids; being that they would cover tuition if I covered everything else (that means room and board, gas, car expenses, personal desires, textbooks etc.). I still take out a Federal loan every semester, just to help with those general living expenses. But certainly I am at a supreme advantage over those who have had no financial help from their parents throughout their college years.

Nowadays, perhaps the mindset needs to change. Perhaps employers need to consider the possibility of hiring people that do not have a college degree, which might very well be because they simply couldn't afford the education. Gone are the days when employers would hire college grads and then foot the bill for graduate schooling. But how can it possibly change? A bachelor's degree doesn't mean anything anymore. It is like a rite of passage, an expected achieved just like a high school degree used to be. At first glance that sounds like a good thing -- but upon further inspection one might come to the conclusion that this means that more people are being forced into going to graduate study, something they might very well not be able to afford by any stretch of the imagination, just to get hired at a base level job! This means the base pay, base benefits, all while trying to balance the recently raised level of interest on college loans.

The article mentions that when the decision of whether or not to go to college comes, rarely does one think about how much they're really borrowing and what their monthly payment will be come graduation. Nor do they think about the type of salary they need to make in order to foot those monthly payments all the time. A lot of us depend on the idea that our parents will be able to bail us out if we need it, provide refuge if we can't pay the rent, and offer a free place to eat if we can't pay for groceries. I hate the idea of being that much of a burden to my parents, but is it necessary at this point?

It just goes to show that if you deciding on colleges, pick carefully. Pay careful attention to price, and overall cost, not just tuition. Do some math, do some financial calculation. Nowadays, going to a good school doesn't guarantee a good paying job. Keep in mind how important things like grades, extra experience and unique connections makes. The best of all of those things will keep you a step ahead of the competition.

Is college a worthwhile expense? I still think so. And I hope that come graduation in two years, I'll have a place to live and a comfortable salary at a place where I enjoy my job and the work that I'm doing. There may not be any guarantees, but out of all the jobs out there, there's got to be one for little old me to survive on.

Parachute .

In my sophomore year at Clemson I dated a girl who at one point made me a list of her ten favorite songs at my request. I later covered and recorded them all for her, putting them together on a CD and mailing her the CD for Christmas, even though we had stopped dating by that point. One of the artists on that list was Parachute, and I can't remember exactly which song it was but I remember thinking that it was a good one.

Weeks ago, as I was putting together the dance floor at work, I had the XM radio playing and a song was playing, so I wrote down a few pieces of the lyrics as a note in my phone. I just got around to looking them up today, and I now remember why it touched me so much that I had to write them down.

The song is called "Kiss Me Slowly" by Parachute.

One particular piece that I like especially is this set of lines:

Don't run away...

And it's hard to love again,

When the only way it's been,

When the only love you knew,

Just walked away...

If it's something that you want,

Darling you don't have to run,

You don't have to go...

Love inspires so many songs. Think about how many beautiful words have been written about relationships, heartbreaks, losing someone who means a lot to you in your life. I don't think Dashboard Confessional would even exist without that, or Taylor Swift or countless others. But it's good to get it out. Music is therapy. Music saves lives. And sometimes that's the only medium that we can get our emotions out, in hopes that we will feel better afterwards. I like how much people really put into their music; how they pour out their heart and soul, and you can just hear that in the music.

I mean, that's usually how I write when I write songs too. I don't know if it comes off that way, but I know the meanings behind stuff; sometimes it's direct and other times it beats around the bush a bit. Whatever happens though, it's stuff I'm proud of. I'd love to cover this song sometime, it's a fun one to sing. Enjoy the tune!

Slipping Through the Cracks .

I have let a lot of things fall by the wayside lately; among them, blogging. It feels like I have been so busy, and I don't know how you people do it! Life, I mean. I used to love summer and all it had to offer; the promise of fun times, the wonder of endless possibilities; it carried a sort of luminescence like that of a planet that was just in the right place at the right time that you might be able to see it with the naked eye among the stars. And yet I have letters I need to respond to and write, blogs to catch up on, a closet to clean out, a workout routine to keep up with, a few more songs to learn for for the band, and a second job to keep up with too. Too much on my plate? Maybe. It's starting to wear me out. Somehow, it almost seems like the school year was less busy than my summer! Not sure how that is even possible!

I recently told a close friend to not be afraid to take a break once in awhile. And I mean, I'm pretty sure I've been following my own advice, as I watch my fair share of Netflix shows and whatever else. It almost seems, though, like that sort of thing is such a waste of my time. TV shows, movies, Playstation and the like. What a waste. I enjoy them -- and yet feel so unproductive watching that stuff. Often I'll end up trying to multi-task. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. It's just so hard to come home from work and dive right into more things that I feel that I need to it. It's like I need a break.

However, I did tell myself, that perhaps once I finish out The Office (I'm towards the end of Season 8 I think) that I'll use the time I spent doing that so often watching YouTube videos about Revit, and trying to at least start learning that. I've pretty much spent no time updating my architecture blog, nor reading ArchDaily emails (literally have 43 unopened emails with about 20 or so projects each that I've been meaning to look at). I've had four tabs open on my browser of jobs I've been wanting to send material to for a few weeks now. And professional social media? Forget it; who has time for it!?

That damn sand in the hourglass just keeps slipping away. Although now it feels like it's slipping right out of the hourglass itself and through the cracks. For those of you who consider yourselves masters of time management (honestly, do those people even really exist of are they just a mythical rarity like a unicorn?) I am extremely jealous. While I do think I've exceeded even my own expectations of time management, sometimes it's not in the cards and I end up blowing the day.

And on that note, I'm watching The Office, showering, and going to bed. Exhausted again.