listen to the lyrics .

Some songs are just too good to go unnoticed. The messages they send, through the beat, through the vibe, through the rhythms and just the slightest combination of sounds they bring together. Today I've been on an A Day To Remember trip. I have always liked them, but today started to really listen to the lyrics of stuff. Wow is all i can say.

If you've never heard of ADTR, here's the main gist. They combine a sort of pop sound with a much heavier sound. They have very good voices, but can also scream like a motherfucker. Imagine something sort of along the lines of Attack Attack. But personally, I think they're better. If you like heavy driving sounds with some GREAT words, this stuff is for you.

no escaping .

When you have demons that torture you, there is no place to go. It doesn't matter where you run. I'm so ready for graduate school. I feel lost at home, I feel lost at school, I don't want to be at either, and I don't want to be at work. But being at work is the only reprieve for the bullshit at home. I don't want to argue, but year after year it proves to be inescapable. Whatever the cause, I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I have a feeling that when I leave home after I graduate, I may very well not ever come back.

Money is such a bitch. It feels like you need it to survive, to do anything, and I don't even have to worry about food on the table or anything like that. I'm in my early 20's. I'm in college. This is supposed to be the best time of my life. The time where I should be trying new things, doing some fun things, experimenting. However that may be. After an argument with my father over several things he notified me I owe my parents around 2 grand. That is probably about a good quarter of what I'll make this summer, if not closer to a third. I know how much money it takes for me to survive in school -- and even with the loans, the continuing expenses will pile up and I know that I won't have enough. I may look for a third job before the summer is out. Yes, you read that correctly, a third.

I hate feeling so locked down, so trapped. But that's what money does.

The homily that the priest said this morning talked about how America is such a greedy country. And maybe we are, but who isn't? Everyone wants to live comfortably. I can't imagine what stress does to you over years of worrying about money and how the hell you're going to pay for all these things. Maybe it's seriously easier to just be homeless, where you know that you'll never have money. Your luxury is having life itself, not buying things or having a place to live or a car.

What the fuck, life. Be less of a bitch.

baseball butt .

At work yesterday, one of the other employees there asked me out of the blue if I had ever played baseball. With a bit of a confused look on my face, I answered, "Yes, for 13 years..." and probably continued to look a little puzzled. She immediately turned to her friend and proceeded to say, "See, I told you!!"

The friend smiled and said, "Why don't you tell him how you knew." Her reply?

"Your butt! You have a baseball player's butt!"

I laughed and replied, "I'll take that as a compliment."

Apparently, baseball players have a very distinctive butt. Of course, the other attributes are usually tall, lanky etc. But you know what? As much of an ego-feeder as that might be, I was flattered and don't at all have a problem with having a ballplayer's butt.

the hunt for a grad school .

When it came time for me to look for my undergraduate college, my Mom did an incredible amount of work. She narrowed down schools based on things that I looked for and parameters I sort of had an idea about. I have to say, I definitely didn't have any perfect school in mind, and was open to pretty much anything -- as long as it was far away from home. I had also had the experience of tagging along on all of my sister's college visits. While we were and are interested in completely different fields, it was still interesting and enlightening to see all the campus facilities, different available lifestyles, accommodations, commodities and more. It sort of gave me some loose boundaries about what I wanted my college experience to be like. Clemson, oddly enough, was the very first school I visited for myself, and that's where I ended up going. I think I ended up doing alright. But I'm ready for the next step.

the perfect 3 .

It isn't often that I go and talk about music on a day that isn't Music Monday, but this is going to be an exception. I, unlike 99% of the general population, still own a 'dumb phone.' That is, I don't have a smart phone. Therefore, I can't just play music on my phone; it just isn't that simple. And so here's the first part of this story: Because work can be quiet sometimes and early in the morning or late at night you may be doing something completely alone in the building, sometimes it's nice to add a little soundtrack. Because the XM radio can be spotty (especially on a day with bad weather), I wanted to find a speaker that would satisfy my musical necessity that was tiny and easily attached to my iPod. What I found was a $7 tiny rectangular speaker that attached directly to my iPod using the same port that charges the battery.

Music Monday #72

This week's song is The Veldt feat. Chris James by Deadmau5. And yes, you must listen to all 8-almost-9 minutes of it.

california v. new york

I've been working my way through Steve Jobs's biography lately, and it's a really awesome book. I'm probably about 3/4 of the way through. Often times there is the comparison made between the people on the west coast and the east coast. In particular, these comparisons resonate frequently about New York (more specifically New York City and all that that entails) and California.

Throughout the book, it appears that these two areas had greatly opposing views. West-coasters seemed to be viewed as more open-minded, whereas the east-coasters were all business, simply in it to make quick cash and a profit. Steve Jobs constantly blasts the New Yorkers, saying that they just "don't get it" and that they're complete idiots. Of course, Steve Jobs was a bit of a loose cannon, so I'm not saying he's entirely right, or even partially right.