musical dreams

After watching a new Alex Goot song today called "Breathless," it really made me think of all those people who have had youtube as their channel to virtually superstardom, especially those trying so hard to break into the musical industry.

When I was in the later years of middle school, I got the urge to pick up a guitar. I remember not having one, and wanting one more than anything. One of my best friends at the time, Carter, came over with his Washburn red sunburst electric and his little 15 watt amp. It was the first time I had ever felt the smooth wooden neck in my hands, as I pressed my fingers gingerly against the strings and felt the pick vibrate as it crossed the strings. He taught me how to play the power chord, and I learned my very first song that day, Smoke on the Water, at least with power chords.

I was lost in my desire to have my own guitar. Every chance I got I would go to friends' houses who had guitars, just to learn a bit more or be able to play for a little bit. There was something about that instrument that was simply magical.

One year, I finally got my own setup. I can't for the life of me remember whether it was for Christmas or my birthday or a combination of both, but I remember going to Freehold Music to pick out my guitar. I came home that day with a crappy Ibanez electric guitar and a little Peevey amp. And yet, I couldn't have been more ecstatic to finally have my own that I would be able to play anytime. I swear I played until my fingers bled that day.

Years later, I have since purchased a red sunburst Schecter acoustic-electric, and I love it to death. Admittedly, there are times when I seem to forget about its existence, whether that is due to not having time or just not having the motivation to play. But every time I'm having a rough time in life, or I'm getting over something, or I'm struggling with something in my life, it always makes its way back into my mind at just the right time. Some may say you can't fall in love with inanimate objects. I beg to differ. I know that if I need to get something out, that guitar is there for me. Write the words, let them spill out on the page, and once you pick up that guitar, let yourself float away to that magical world that is music.

That guitar and I have been through a lot together, and if you have seen me play it or just carry it around, you'll know it's my baby. Anyway, enough about the guitar and more about main part of this --

I truly find it incredible that one day someone can decide to randomly send their music out there, or start putting up some youtube videos of them playing/singing and their life takes an abrupt jump into mainstream fame. Record deals are acquired and millions of people subscribe and support you, sending money, buying your music and buying your merchandise. What an amazing thing! I sometimes wish I had just dropped out of school and focused on my music, because it means so much to be and it seems like at the end of the day when I'm exhausted, I just can't find the strength to start recording, and sometimes with other people around it's a bit embarrassing.

I feel like my dreams have, since I actually thought about a career, always lain in music. To be able to inspire others, whether with my words, voice, or guitar, would be a dream come true. Doesn't matter what I sing about; but I want to do it. I sometimes think about sending some demo cds off to recording companies or something, but always convince myself it wouldn't lead to anything. If anyone out there wants to hear some stuff I've recorded, just ask. I've got about 5 or 6 ongoing "albums" that I have in progress. Just me, recording on my laptop, using simple software (or getting lost somewhere in Logic Pro...) singing about my life, and all the emotion that goes into it. I don't ever expect to be on the level of popular music artist, and whether I get there or not, I do fully intend to continue on my path of life with guitar in hand, singing about the joy, pain, love, hope, and faith that happens in my life. A girl may come and go and friends may ditch you and abuse you, and people may ridicule you; you may be beat down and at your wit's end, feeling lost and lonely, or completely brokenhearted ------ but that will never stop you from picking up that guitar and playing a song. Because in my life, no one can ever take that away from me.

After all, "music is the shorthand of emotion."