This past weekend at mass the pastor talked about death, reflecting upon the parable of Lazarus' resurrection. So often we pit death against God, blaming Him for taking away the people or animals that we love and have come to expect to always be there. Why is this? I think that it's really hard to deal with permanent separation. It's the same sort of concept as the end of a relationship, in a way, in that you probably will not cross paths with that person again unless you were lucky enough to have an amicable separation. However, death is much more permanent.
Death is a really intriguing and simultaneously terrifying subject to me, in that we really don't have a clue what is going to happen. Being a firm believer in Catholicism, I believe that there is a Heaven out there for us and that the soul never truly dies - only the vessel within which it lives for time spent on Earth. That much is comforting. However, passing on into another life where you have no idea what will happen is terrifying. I believe that there is this innate fear of the unknown in all of us; that even those who have seemingly unshakeable faith will be nervous on their deathbed. Life as we know it completely changes, both for the person passing and those around them. Wounds are incredibly hard to heal when they are so permanent, and to no longer be able to see, talk to, or touch a person you have loved for so long is one of the hardest things in the world to accept.
And yet, it is one of the few things we cannot control. Time always passes, often at a rapidly fast rate without us even realizing, and soon we feel like we are running out of time.
In the movie PS I Love You, one of the characters dies right in the opening few scenes. Being an Irishman, his funeral consists of toasting shots to him and placing the empty glasses on his urn. I feel like in a way, I'd like my funeral to be like this. It is my wish that those that I leave behind are not stricken with grief, that instead they celebrate my accomplishments, experiences, and passion for living life abundantly. There is so much in this world to explore, new places to go, new people to meet, experiences to be captured and things to do! Death is simply a new chapter in our eternal books.
And while it still terrifies me when I think about what the heck happens when I die and what it will be like, I have a long time yet (let's hope) before that point, and I will continue to try to make the most of every single day that I have here on this Earth.