Thursday, December 13, 2012

I'm Back !

Hey everyone, I'd like to welcome you back to "Simply, Life." I was forced to take a hiatus because, well, life, is 'simply, life' (ha ha) and sometimes you just have too much on your plate to handle. I've been gone over the past month or two to finish up a trying semester of schoolwork combined with my portfolio and lots of work to be done for graduate school applications. I even stopped my almost daily workouts due to the amount of work -- but in the end, it paid off. My first application is due Saturday, and I'm almost done with it. I created a portfolio I'm relatively happy with, and the semester has ended with hopefully a rather promising GPA. I also was chosen as 1 of 3 students in my studio to be financially backed by my university in an international skyscraper competition! Pretty exciting; we've been working on the project all semester, so that really validates all the hours I put in. (Competition website can be found here). For those of you interested in my portfolio as it currently stands, here it is:

Needless to say, there is more work to be done and it can always be edited to be made better and more clear. If you know of any architects, feel free to send the link their way!

And now what I'd really like to talk about today. Yes, you're right, I'm jumping right back in with a topic that is not always easy to talk about. I watched a Jenna Marbles video on Youtube today, and a few things she said really rang true with me. If you're unfamiliar with Jenna, she normally posts quite entertaining videos, but every so often posts something that she just feels strongly about, and uses Youtube as the platform to voice her opinion.

The topic had to do with sluts: the nature of them, where it comes from, how people react to it. Here's the video so you can get an idea:

I could not believe the overwhelming response in the comments from an "anti slut-shaming" point of view, about how girls (and maybe guys? who knows) are trying to justify and excuse many multiple casual sexual encounters. From my point of view, at the very base of it all, there is one point to be made based purely on logic: The more sexual partners you have, the more you put your physical health at risk. STI's seem to run rampant these days, and the age kids (feels wrong to even be writing kids) first have sex is lower and lower (somewhere before 14 now, I think). Wearing condoms doesn't always protect against STI's. Regardless of your stand on morality or any other argument, I think that this one is just common sense: purely inarguable.

What happened to young people everywhere that made them believe it's okay to just sleep with as many people as they want? Now, perhaps my own personal views are getting in the way a little bit here. It's your life and your body, and you can and should be able to do what you want with it. If you want to sleep with 80 people in your lifetime, cool. I just don't want to be involved in it. Monogamy is a great thing... In my opinion sex is a special thing. There's a reason I haven't had sex yet, despite the overwhelming majority of those who have many many times in college. I just have always believed and wanted to get to that wedding day, and say to my future wife, you are my first, and my only. That means a lot to me.

It's easy to have sex with lots of people. It's easy to pick up people at the bar for casual encounters, and I'm sure people do go out with the intent of "getting some" that night. So here are a few questions, for those who are strong supporters of not judging people whose sexual adventures are more multitudinous:

- When you start dating someone new, does number of sexual partners prior to dating come up? Is it a big deal, or something you are concerned with?
- If not when dating, would it come up in marriage?
- Would you want to get married, settle down and have a family with someone who has been with many people sexually?
- Does being with someone who could be considered "promiscuous" worry you about cheating? Do you ever wonder if you're being compared to the other sexual partners?

People tend to live in the moment. And that's cool; I think that opportunities should be taken when they arise. But I also think that there is some sort of discretion that needs to be used. Got a chance to travel the world? Take it. Sleeping with 6 people in one night (exaggeration, to make a point)? Maybe not the smartest idea. I wonder sometimes if people aren't really thinking about potential complications or implications of their actions.

Regardless of religion, I feel like there used to be some sort of general feeling on morality. Monogamy makes sex special.. a true expression of love, in my opinion. Waiting makes it special. I haven't talked to everyone, but there aren't a lot of virgins left out there who are my age. In a way, it makes me sad. But when you find another one, it's something that you can both share and truly be proud of. It's like beating the odds, staying true to you (if that's what you believe, and in my case, it is).

It's hard being a kid growing up today. Sex is just more... there. Movies, TV, internet, even just the types of clothing. I hardly think colonial guys walked around getting boners all day from all the super heavy cover-everything-except-my-face types of dress women wore. Times are different, the world has evolved, and society becomes "okay" with more: more violence, more sexual preferences, more religions. And that sort of evolution is okay, and good. Evolution of society is inevitable anyways so it's pointless to try to stop it.

Some argue that talking openly about sex and educating teens about sex makes them more aware of the spread of diseases (seriously, though, the stats are frightening) and therefore more preventative methods are used. One note from that rings true though: the only way to be sure about not contracting disease is to be abstinent. Plain and simple. There's just no way around it.

So whatever you think about the video, whatever you think about the topic, I completely understand that you're going to do you, and I'm going to do me, because that's who we are and what we believe in. And that's cool. That's good. More power to you. But, I guess a part of me kind of wants to just instill in some people a hope. A hope that one day, maybe we'll think twice more often. Or at least make sure that decisions we make are the ones we really want (has anyone noticed the skyrocketing divorce rate... what happened to "'till death do us part"?). And that's important. For you, for your friends, for your kids or future kids, etc.

And that's it. Simple as that. While many fight the anti slut-shaming war, I think that there is a reason why people who are very sexually open are looked upon differently. At this point, it still makes society uncomfortable, regardless of what the underlying issue is. Sex is a great thing, but not something to be abused. There are plenty of other ways to be happy, express yourself, enjoy life.

To those who are young and wondering about virginity, if you want to keep it, don't let anyone take it from you. It's yours to give out alone. To those who are young and want to have lots of sex, that's your choice. Just be ready to embrace anything else that happens as a result of it. To those who are parents, I implore you to stress the importance of sex and staying true to one's personal beliefs. Instill in them respect and care so that they don't end up in a sticky situation as a result, whether it be emotional issues, or at the extreme end, an unwanted child.

It's not easy to talk about these things. More because there are so many differing opinions, differing definitions of words like "slut" and differing levels of comfort in the sexual world and what goes on sexually in society. Please note, that my intent is not to offend people here. This is just my blog; words put on a page that are my thoughts and my thoughts alone. When I'm inspired, I write, and today, that video inspired me. It's less about a PSA and more about comments on the world. And so whatever your ideals are, beliefs are, thoughts are, there's no need to be rude or mean regarding what I think. That being said, I'm curious to hear what you, my readers, think about this; there is quite a variance of ages of people who read this blog. Looking forward to hearing from you, and welcome back, to "Simply, Life."


  1. Welcome back!! It's been quite a long time my friend. Congrats on being backed by your university in an international skyscraper competition - that's boss awesome. I look forward to reading your posts again sir.

    1. Thanks Keith, I certainly look forward to being back. Been a long time since I've written daily!

  2. Welcome back, friend! Nice to see you back in the blogworld with us.
    This is an interesting topic and everyone has their opinion. I was one that waited too and I have no regrets. Hats off to you for sharing...


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