Break the Cycle

As the days pass I think many of us get into habits that become so rigid we forget how to get out of that rut. Walk the same path enough times and it becomes second nature. Run your car through the same tracks enough times and pretty soon it's actually difficult to not drive in the path. With work schedules the way they are, most people function on the Monday to Friday 9-5 schedule, and therefore everything else is just sort of fit in around it.

My morning starts at 4:45am. That's the first alarm -- the one that says, you don't need to get up right now, but soon. The second alarm goes off at 5am. This is the one that says, you should probably get up now. If I'm really tired I'll wait for the third one and turn this one off. Finally the third one goes off at 5:05am, and it's the one that says, get out of bed man you gotta be at work soon and you need time to eat and everything else! The ringtone is even a jolting one too (ever seen the opening to CSI: Miami? That's what it is) to make sure I wake up.

By 5:15am I'm changed and out to breakfast (always been one to shower the night before; it's nice being clean when you get into bed). I literally take virtually the same path, as I grab my dishes, a box of cereal, daily vitamin, drink, open the blinds, and then sit down and open my laptop. While I eat, I catch up on blogs, look at some architecture articles, and check email.

Normally by 5:30am I am finished eating and make my lunch for the day and brush my teeth, at which point I sit down in the same chair facing the same way each day and put on my boots. I close the pantry, hit the lights, lock the door on my way out, and I'm off to work. It even goes so far that I always take the same route to work, the same route through the parking lot, and park in the same spot.

Now maybe it was a little ridiculous to explain one hour of my day in such detail just to illustrate a point. But I do all this virtually without even thinking. Just this morning, there was an event going on super early and as a result there were a lot more people at the club at 6am than normal. It threw off my whole morning routine and I even ended up forgetting things that I normally do.

I think, though, that these small intrusions are part of what makes life interesting. It keeps you on your toes. And when our time in this life is limited, it's important to remember how easy it is to fall into the "boring old daily routine." And then avoid it. Keep things interesting. Take a new way to work. Mix it up.

I've mentioned this before but I often forget how each day is such a gift. That each day can be completely and totally special. And quite honestly, each day should be. Last night I asked my brother if he wanted to do something and we just grabbed some Wawa for dinner and headed out to Sandy Hook. I haven't been to the city in around six months and I've been dying to go. I recently read an article that Freedom Tower is now just about complete, since adding the antenna on, and I have to say it is breathtaking.

As the haze settled over the water last night and sun dropped below the horizon, Freedom Tower stood alone in the skyline, virtually twice as tall as anything near it. I remember as a kid when I used to go to Sandy Hook with the family and see the twin towers standing there proudly. According to the article, if the antenna counts in the overall height, it will be the tallest building in America. How appropriate -- Freedom first.

Today, break the cycle of what your everyday life is used to. Try something new. Be a different person today. Treat yourself. Do something crazy. Whatever happens, make memories. Every day is precious, and memories are all we really have to hold on to them.

Memories & Dust

I spent the majority of yesterday listening to one specific pandora station and writing down the songs that I enjoyed from it. Every once in awhile I'll come across a station that just seems absolutely perfect. The songs carry your moods like the moon carries the waves gently to the shore, and come the chorus, your heart takes flight. One such song was a tune by Josh Pyke called Memories & Dust. It's definitely worth the time if you've got a minute. 

Often I wish that I had the money and the time to get in my car and just drive. It doesn't matter where I go or if I even have a destination. Sometimes the best part about being in the car is just moving, feeling like you are on the road to some heavenly place that never really comes into reach. Is perfection unattainable or do Utopias exist? I think that the answer is simple -- we find the most perfect places on our mind and thoughts. The special places that only we can access, the special places that only we have the key to, that is not simply hidden in the back of the sock drawer, but rather in a mental safe, miles behind the densest metals, password protected in every way imaginable. And should anyone ever have the privilege to access this space, may God bless their soup because they have been given a true gift. 

And thus we come to the title of this post. Memories & dust. From dust we came, and to dust we shall return. But our memories live on. And our memories are eternal, and while all other things around us may seem like they are crumbling, the memories remain steadfast.

Many are often quick to remind friends who are struggling to not live in the past. But to forget memories is to lose a part of ourselves, to allow them to become the very dust which we are to return to one day. Instead may we cherish the memories, embrace them; good bad and ugly. May we learn from our mistakes and soar through our successes. May our frustrations and shortcomings challenge us to be better, act better, and live life abundantly. I love that phrase: live life abundantly. I first heard it in the movie Seven Pounds starring Will Smith and I've embraced it as a virtue, a reminder to not wallow or despair, to not mope or allow negativity to pollute the mind. It's not always easy. In fact it probably never is. But it's a new beginning. An attempted fresh start.

Today, allow yourself some time to relive your memories. Feel elation from your triumphs, and feel pain from your despairs. But no matter what do not allow yourself to bury any of your memories! They are the quilt that wraps us and protects us from the cold night. And they will always, always, be solely yours. 

I'm Behind .

Well, according to my records I am seven days behind on posts on this blog. I usually don't let it get to this point, but I guess things lately have just been a little overwhelming. No doubt, I've been busy but I've been doing fun things too. Though sometimes I just want to do something mindless like play video games instead of putting thought and effort into a blog post. I guess after awhile it's easy to get burned out. To be perfectly honest, I'm surprised I haven't really taken any breaks in the 2+ years I've been writing this blog (save for my short hiatus during last semester). And though sometimes it may be difficult to sit down and write, I think having the stories will be invaluable as my age progresses. It will be a cool thing to not only have a record of, but to show my kids. How sweet would it be if your parents recorded all the things that were important to them in life, daily, and you got the chance to live their lives vicariously through their memories? Sounds pretty dope to me. So even though it may sometimes be difficult, here's to you, future kids.

the last work day .

Summer jobs are just so weird. You get to know all these people, and at Trump that is particularly the case because people seem to come in and out so much. When you only work the summers like I do, you end up seeing a completely different group of people every season. Regardless of whether or not I was going to Spain, I would still be going 800 miles away to go to school. People from work are usually tough to keep in touch with -- you just sort of remake friendships when you come back with the same people. It will be especially hard keeping in touch with people this year, because I will be overseas and so I'll have to try to remember to email all sorts of people both at home and at school and at other schools and such. So guys, I apologize if we sort of lose touch -- I'm doing my best though! Just don't take offense. I still am planning on writing tons, and maybe even starting a 3rd blog just for the pictures and little captions and things from Spain. Not sure yet though. Of course, I'll let you know if I do.

seagulls .

Seagulls, to me, are a reminder of being home. It's been forever since I've actually been to the beach during the day... I'm more of a 'walk along the shore while it's night time with a cool breeze thinking about everything and anything in the world under the moonlight' kind of person. But I used to have this inkling that seagulls were absolutely the most annoying bird in the world. I remember chasing them as a kid the few times that my parents actually took us to the beach (well, my mom would take us, as my dad absolutely detests it).

independence day .

Yesterday was July 4th, and as everyone knows that marks the day of our independence as a nation, the date when we officially declared ourselves free of the tyranny of our parent nation. Over the years since I was born there have been a lot of traditions made for July the 4th. Because of the younger ages of the family members, it has yet to become just another excuse to get plastered on a random day of the week -- instead, there are generally barbecues involved and going to various fireworks celebrations.

But this year was entirely different, perhaps breaking the train of tradition for good.

juxtapositions .

This one is for you, you who affected me so much and whom I poured so much into. You who I would've gave the world for, but you still left me hanging up to dry. I gave it my all and yet I'm not sure that you did.

firefly .

I was sitting on the kitchen counter this evening, just eating some applesauce, when I looked outside and saw fireflies begin to flash around the front yard. Out of nowhere a flood of memories seeped back into the forefront of my thoughts, and it brought a lot of things to mind.

memories .

In particular, the thing that I've had in my mind recently is the memories from relationships. One of the things that is so so difficult about relationships is while they may start out great, you often end up skating on thin ice and eventually it crumbles into nothing. Now, don't get me wrong I'm a big fan despite the risk of things ending badly. But after all is said and done, the time has passed, and you've moved on, what do you think you are more inclined to remember more, the good? or the bad?