Unwavering Faith .

My friend Brandon is one of the strongest people that I know. I'm not talking physically... I'm talking spiritually. When I first met him, I saw the things that most people probably see -- the athleticism, the goofy jokes, the Air Force uniform. What I didn't realize is the depth and profundity of his relationship with Jesus. Since I realized that Brandon had this other deep side to him, I have been inspired, motivated, and eager to maintain a solid spiritual relationship.

I think that there is a part of me that is struggling with that. That struggles to connect, that struggles to talk... But there is also a part of me that yearns for connection, and I think that Brandon was really brought into my life to reinforce that side.

I haven't been to church in a few weeks. To the extreme Catholic, maybe this is blasphemous. But years ago I adopted a philosophy that if you weren't getting anything out of church, then you shouldn't go. Granted, sometimes you can be missing out on an opportunity to spark interest or thought. But in this case, I just needed a break. This doesn't mean that I want to stop praying, or give up Catholicism. It's actually the exact opposite. I think distancing myself a little bit will give me a chance to "miss" the things that I like about church. More importantly though, there is something about my church in Jersey that is just so blasé. It's not my cup of tea. And so I'm hoping I can find something a bit better in Oregon.

Brandon has some of the strongest faith in anyone I know. He is trusting, knowing that God will point him in the right direction, even if that sometimes means suffering a bit. He knows that someone is always looking out for him. And in almost every conversation we have, he reminds me that, above all else, God is good. It's great to be able to talk to someone about anything. It's great to share my religion with someone who feels so strongly about it.

But you know what the best part is? He's humble about it. He doesn't rub anything in your face. I didn't even know he was religious at all until I really got to know him. I think, at the end of the day, Brandon exemplifies the qualities that are meant to be present in a truly good person. What about you guys? Got any friends that truly inspire and time and again blow your mind away?

on Reconnecting .

There are times in life when you just lose touch with people. But the best feeling in the world is being able to reconnect with them. Being able to go out and grab a bite to eat, and completely lose track of time. Here I am sitting here at midnight, after a short dinner turned into a 6 hour conversation that covered everything under the sun.

I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to bring this person back into my life after not seeing them for four years, and I am so glad I took the chance of asking to get together! Friendship is such a wonderful thing and definitely not something to be taken lightly.

If you've lost touch with someone who means a lot to you, take a moment to get in touch with them today! It may just change your life.

on Drumming .

When I first got my drum set, never would I have expected that years down the road I would be so into it. Because of how big it is and how many pieces there are, I've never been able to bring my drums with me to school. Even if I could have and did, I still would have driven everyone within 3 floors of me nuts... unless I had an electric set (which seems to be the solution for many people who live in apartments these days).

Now here I am, drumming almost daily, learning songs, teaching myself more tricks, building up an endurance and finesse (not to mention callouses), and I am probably better now than ever. As it turns out, I auditioned for a band a while back, and they seemed to really like my playing and what I could do, and so we're now practicing the song set and preparing for some gigs.

Though I have always thought it would be awesome to be a part of a band, I never had the opportunity to actually play in a band that was actually serious about stuff. I messed around with some guys, I've recorded my own stuff (not drums though, really ever. I don't have the mics for it) and I've dabbled every so often in the basement. I now find myself listening to drums more than anything else when I listen to music, and envision how I would go about playing it on my own kit.

Though I don't plan on dropping a lot of cash on new gear just yet, I'm already excited about adding some small new additions to enhance what I can do, given the songs we are practicing. I'll try to keep people posted on gigs.

On a quick side note before I sign off tonight, I have been contacted by a few of the people I wrote recognition posts for. The messages contain utter grace, thankfulness etc. It's so great that you can make people feel so good, and so worth it with just a few words. What a difference it makes! I'm so glad I wrote that down, and even more thankful that those people found their way to those posts. Thank me all you want, but honestly, thank you for being the people that you are!

Finished - For Real .

The exams are finished, and graded. The final projects are turned in. The Lulu studio book is made, ordered, and even on its way, shipped to my professor. The projects are rolled up, the desks are clean, and we're all packing up all the crap that accumulated in our charettes over the past semester. Over this past week I've been trying to see all those who are leaving this weekend, headed for home. The likelihood that I'll see any of these people is very slim -- but I'm really planning on making the effort to keep in touch.

I ate lunch with a group of guys from studio, and after we headed back to studio, it was weird to see one of them call out my name and wave -- for a fleeting moment I felt like I would never see him again. But then I realized that we still have graduation, we'll probably be around cleaning things up in studio, and that we would both certainly be at the reception after graduation.

I then headed straight to the dining hall to meet another group of friends that I actually probably won't see after this year. Upon leaving, we all exchanged hugs -- and I plan to head over to their place tomorrow morning to see them off. But it's still the strangest thing trying to say goodbye to people that you've spent four years cultivating a friendship with. I'm almost inclined to say "Have a great summer, and oh yeah, have a great life too." Gosh that would just be beyond awkward.

I feel so blessed to have so many people tell me that they wish I wasn't moving, wasn't leaving, and that they'll miss me being around and that "we have to stay in touch!" I love that sort of thing. Probably much more than they know. And I sure as hell am going to do my best. I want to collect email addresses, mailing addresses, phone numbers etc. And while the hugs will not really suffice to provide a link to them for the rest of life, the memories I had with these people will certainly last a lifetime, and never fade.

PS : keep an eye out for a post in the near future -- going to be a real long one, and I'm going to go back through each of the years and just talk about people and events that affected me drastically. I'm really looking forward to delving through those memories. Should make for some great posts too. I'm trying to decide whether I want to post it all at once or in pieces... thoughts?

Friendly Frenzy .

Over the course of the next week, most students' heads at Clemson are filled with what they are supposed to know for their finals, dreams of summer, talk of upcoming plans and what they are going to do after they recover from their drastic sleep deprivation. But not mine. I've begun already to feel like I'm a ghost here, despite the fact I haven't taken one step towards home yet. More importantly though, are the people that I might very well never see again.

How do you even begin to comprehend that? Friendships cultivated and fostered over the course of two, three and four years; does it all just become forgotten at the end of all things? Thanks for the memories and such? I'd like to think that it doesn't. In fact I refuse to let that happen. Because while in high school I was inclined to let people fall by the wayside (let's be honest, they tried less than I did and I was frustrated), I've met too many amazing people that have affected me in some really awe-some ways (this is foreshadowing, there's going to be a post about you amazing people!).

Today, I ran into so many people that I just haven't seen in quite some time. And that was awesome! Catching up, chatting, talking about future plans. Even more awesome are the friends who go out of their way to spend time with you, grab a bite to eat with you, or milk every last second together up because they know full well that you'll be moving to the other side of the country.

I've been telling everyone that my door is always open at Oregon, and it is! I'm not sure how many will make it out there, whether for cost, forgetfulness, or just distaste at the idea of leaving the Southeast (paha, small crack at Southerners) but I hope that a good number of people do actually decide to come visit (or at least make their way out to the Northwest). Now, it's awfully late and I'm exhausted, but I may very well continue this tomorrow!

Asking for Help .

In time of need, we simply cannot do things alone. As a race that thrives on human interaction and interrelation, compassion and love are a necessity, in some shape or form. Emotion is difficult to explain though, and it takes time to even figure it out yourself before you fully understand it. I've had bad days before, but for some reason today just sucks more than all the rest of late. Could be lack of sleep, could be stress from projects and exams. Could be that there is just lots of things on my mind that I can't think through and can't really understand.

I'm sitting in studio and it's the last place I want to be. I feel like I need a smoke in one hand and a stiff drink in the other. When I'm distracted with something else (like working out at the gym this morning) everything is fine. But once I sit down and my mind has a moment to catch up and wander, I sink. To tune out studio for a moment, I plugged in my headphones and played some music. And then I prayed. I prayed for just some sort of feeling to remind me that I still really matter, and that I just needed God to listen to be and sit with me and be with me.

I don't know how religious of a person you are, and I don't know your beliefs, nor am I saying that there is some sort of correct way to live life and cope with issues. I don't know if you have something that you relate to having a connection with God or anything like that. Lately I've been praying to my guardian angel though, as I believe that everyone has one of these and that they are very real. The kind of being that puts thoughts in your head to avoid danger, or when you get a feeling that something just isn't right, you get this from your guardian angel, someone sworn to watch over you and protect you. I want to find a way to really be able to communicate with mine.

But anyways, as I listened to Sweet Disposition rattling through my ears, a warmth came over me. Tingles traveled all down my body and I almost shuddered. That was maybe five or ten minutes ago, and every so often I'm getting those tingles again, in smaller doses and various places all over my body. It's nice knowing that I am being protected. That when I am vulnerable, I have a shield. And it's really nice just escaping for a moment. I need it.

As my Blogger friends, thank you to those who always reach out. To those who communicate. Who humor me when I ask questions, or send emails about my problems, or send me snail mail. Thank you to those who have put themselves out there to share their stories and share a large part of themselves with their readers. You mean so much.

The Unexpected .

Today in the post I received a parcel from a dear friend of mine, Angie, author of The Best Part of My Day. Though we've never met, over the two years or so I've been writing this blog Angie has become a dear friend of mine and I really enjoy the time she takes out of her life to just be a friend. It really is a testament to the fact that we don't just read the stories from each others' lives here on Blogspot, but we become involved in it, a part of it. Angie and I have exchanged snail mail before and to receive a gift and a Christmas card from her this year was truly awesome.

I've decided to the save the gift for Christmas Day, as I feel that's most appropriate.. but Angie, know that my appreciation runs deep, and I can't wait for the day when I get a tour of Toronto from my favourite (note the spelling!) local!

May your holiday season progress wonderfully and create some amazing memories. This one goes out to you!

living at a lake .

One of the great benefits of having a house on the lake is well, you have the lake right there. The other day I came home just hating that I had had such a long a tiring day of class and when I rolled in the driveway there was an extra car there and I could see some people hanging out down by the dock (Josh had decided to have some people over. After walking down the to water and briefly saying hello, I ran back inside and threw on my swimsuit, walked back down to the dock, then ran and dove into the water.

golf mondays .

Today I found time to actually go golfing (for only the third time this season unfortunately). I went with Tom from work, and must say it is always a pleasure to go golfing with him. We created what we call the Triple H, which is Hominy Hill and Huddy's. I rarely ever go to bars, so it's always great to get a chance to just go grab a couple beers (BOGO at Huddy's with a golf card, which is great) and just talk about everything.

work .

If you think this is a post about how the work environment sucks and I hate going and it's completely and totally miserable, you'd be entirely wrong. Before I started work this year I told myself that this year would be different. I told myself that instead of dreading work all the time, I would change the way that I looked at it. I wouldn't have to exactly look forward to it, but I would just accept that work is there, I'm making money, and that it's really not bad at all. I also resolved to be a more outgoing and pleasant person while I'm there. You see, I'm on the facilities crew at a country club in my town. Therefore, being the job that involves the least club-member contact, it's pretty easy to just walk around with a blank stare and clean stuff without ever chatting or saying anything to anyone. But that hasn't been this year.

being (un)friendly .

I just read a post by a blogger friend named Jacy entitled How To Make New Friends. It was all about putting yourself out there and really at least giving a friendship a shot by taking the first step. Well, I'm going to talk about this from the other point of view. I've never thought of myself as super outgoing, but I wouldn't exactly say that I'm a recluse of any sort. I'm somewhere in the middle, but probably lean towards more of not exactly seeking out friendships actively.

just hangin' with the guys .

Hello all. So I know I haven't written in a few days. I've been a little busy, but aren't we always? Normally I make time to write, but I guess I just didn't the past few days. I'll catch up in the end. So! That bein' said... this weekend has been absolutely excellent thus far. I'm sure tomorrow will be less exciting (I plan on filling it with studying and work on my architecture project, which is in dire need of it) and so I've left myself in a bit of a hole as far as work is concerned, but you know what? Once in a while we all need a break.

cynicism & me .

A few weeks ago before break I sat down and had a long conversation, bit of a life talk if you will, with a friend whom I am still getting to know (I'd like to think we recently bridged the gap from acquaintances to friends..). Anyways, we got to talking about various topics and she commented at the end of it all saying I seemed extremely cynical. Cynical is one of those words that I find is hard to describe or slap a definition on, but I went to the dictionary anyways later and one part of the definition was that a cynic was "distrustful of human sincerity or integrity." I can't say that I disagree...

a whole slew of things .

Alright. Time to get down to business. I've been putting this post off all day, trying to figure out how the deuce I was going to focus on one topic, after all the kinds going through my head. And what I've realized is that, I can't choose. So this is probably going to be an incredibly long post. Bear with me -- and if you read the whole thing, bravo to you.

what would you do for a friend .

I've been meaning to write about this for awhile; I just haven't gotten down to it. Believe it or not, even though I have a large list of topics that I've jotted down for topics, I need to be in the right mood for it, which is kinda interesting. Anyways, this particular one is about friends. This is going to sound cliché... but I think that maybe the saying that we take them for granted has some truth to it. But! Luckily for you, this is not what this is mainly about. To quote the Holy Book...

"There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends."
- John 15:13

pick up .

This one is dedicated to those who reached out over the past day... you guys are irreplaceable.

move in .

It's amazing to think that winter break is already done and finished, and this Wednesday, I'll be starting classes. Wow, has the time flown! Driving all the way down to Clemson was a chore. I took my car and my parents took their truck to help bring some of my stuff. I realized also that I have a lot of clothes... probably too many. Perhaps I should really go through and try to pass some of that stuff along to some people less fortunate. I'll have to go through it at some point.

a fresh start .

Hope everyone has a happy and fun New Year's celebration. Let's give 2012 a hearty welcome. I'm lucky enough to be spending the night with friends for what I'm sure will be a great celebration. Stay safe out there, and enjoy the night!

pure kindness .

It's been awhile since I've been back home, and actually hung out with old friends. I did that tonight, and it was nice. But what has struck me lately is a sort of attitude change that was in my friends. They seem different. Or maybe, I'm the different one. Maybe I've been a better person lately. Either way, there is a noticeable abundance of kindness, selflessness and generosity from these people.

right in front of you .

I feel like a lot of girls are always looking for that perfect guy, always looking for someone special, always looking for someone to not just take their breath away in some sort of fantasy, but to be a realistic and practical person; an all around good person. Why is it that they are always looking? I think that girls are more prone to want to be with someone than guys are. That's my theory, anyway. Granted, I may not be grouped in with the male majority -- I am a huge fan of relationships. I think it's a wonderful opportunity to be able to exclusively share your life with someone, and over time build an incredible emotional relationship with someone. But that's another subject -- we're talking about the people who are always looking.