right in front of you .

I feel like a lot of girls are always looking for that perfect guy, always looking for someone special, always looking for someone to not just take their breath away in some sort of fantasy, but to be a realistic and practical person; an all around good person. Why is it that they are always looking? I think that girls are more prone to want to be with someone than guys are. That's my theory, anyway. Granted, I may not be grouped in with the male majority -- I am a huge fan of relationships. I think it's a wonderful opportunity to be able to exclusively share your life with someone, and over time build an incredible emotional relationship with someone. But that's another subject -- we're talking about the people who are always looking.


I used to be that person, always looking. I used to always want to be with someone, and would die a little more each day inside that I wasn't. But along the way on that long road to eternal loneliness I discovered something -- I didn't need to be with someone. I didn't need to be looking. And I certainly didn't need to be moping around feeling sorry for myself. I began to stop thinking about it -- began to focus on improving my friendships, doing things that bettered myself, physically and athletically, things that enhanced my creativity and built upon cornerstones I had started long ago. I'm very happy with where I'm at right now.

So here's my message to the hopeless romantics out there, the ones who feel they've lost the only guy for them, the ones who have never been able to find what they're looking for:

You don't need anyone to make you, you. You are better when you shine by yourself. You don't have to have a boy to hang on to at all times (though I can completely sympathize with the comfort and support it provides). I don't really think that there are too many coincidences... either God is trying to tell me something, or it was supposed to happen in that particular way. If you think you lost "the one," fear not. Because either you will one day end up with that person (again, if you already dated) or there will be someone even more spectacular out there for you. The one thing that you can't let yourself do is slip into a hopeless state of despair... Take it from a guy, we're not worth it...

And of course, most importantly, just open your eyes! Chances are, you are surrounded by great people -- simply because you are a great person yourself, and you wanted to make sure you were always supported by the same sort of great person that you are. Those people will always be there for you, and most likely have shown you that one way or another. So don't forget about them. Then open your eyes wider, and take a look at the boys that you're friends with -- you know, the one who always helps you with your problems, listens to you vent, makes you smile and laugh when all you do is feel like crying, can take some huge catastrophe and make it seem like a bump in the road, that sort of thing. Maybe he's more than you considered him to be.

All I can say is, sometimes the best things find you when you're not even looking for them. Look too hard, and you may overlook something. Kapish? Like I said; take it from a guy who knows: I stopped looking and am lucky to be dating an absolutely lovely young woman.

So here's to you, woman-determined-to-find-a-perfect-man, you have a tip of my hat and my greatest hopes for you.