being (un)friendly .

I just read a post by a blogger friend named Jacy entitled How To Make New Friends. It was all about putting yourself out there and really at least giving a friendship a shot by taking the first step. Well, I'm going to talk about this from the other point of view. I've never thought of myself as super outgoing, but I wouldn't exactly say that I'm a recluse of any sort. I'm somewhere in the middle, but probably lean towards more of not exactly seeking out friendships actively.


Often times, I make friends kinda by accident. I never make a conscious decision to try to be friends with someone. Sports is the one way that I think is easiest for me... especially if you put in a lot of effort. People respect that and friendships are easily made.

But in terms of striking up conversations with people, I just don't do it. Maybe part of that is because of the part of the country I'm from; those from NYC and Jersey are just not like that. The South is very much a friendly sort of area where I feel like my privacy bubble is popped a lot. Like Jacy said, you kinda gotta read the vibe and see if people are receptive to it or not. Well, boy do I have stories for that:

Flying home for spring break, I had some super old lady sit next to me. She happened to see the textbook sitting in my lap, and began interrogating me about my schooling, what major I was in, where I went, etc. Now, I'd rather not be a total douche, but I did very much want to just sleep, because I've purposely made it a habit to not sleep the night before, specifically so I can sleep through the multiple flights it takes me to get home. I also had to keep taking my headphones out because she kept bugging me with questions. A word to the wise: if someone has their headphones in, they most likely do not want to be bothered.

I was on the plane coming back to school from Jersey to Greenville and some guy politely said hello as I got on. Now I usually do the same, if I'm in the seat next to someone I don't know, especially if I have to move past them for the window seat. He casually asked if I was heading back to college, and I indulged his friendliness for a moment. But I wanted to just study my microeconomics book as I had a test on it soon after I got back, and he wouldn't leave me alone. I have a very hard time telling someone to politely shut up... especially since I got the feeling that he got nervous on flights and was trying to take his mind off of it. Flights don't bother me at all, I fly a good 6 times a year at least (less so now that I have a car though).

Last story. So freshman year of college, I had a routine where I got lunch with one of my roommates after one class all the time. We were coming from different areas on campus though, so I just happened to get to the dining hall first. I sat down with my lunch, and some girl in front of me turned around and asked me if I was eating with anyone. Keep in mind I had my headphones in, hood up over my head, and sunglasses on. Could it possibly be any more obvious I wasn't in the mood to chat with strangers? But she persisted and I was forced to take my headphones out and answer. And I didn't want to be rude, so I accepted.

Then, on top of that, she didn't even provide any conversation! She sat there in silence! I tried, truly, and she was just a brick wall. What a big dumb. My poor roommate arrived and thought I knew the girl, and so indulged her as well. Well we had the fastest lunch ever and bolted out. I mean come on. If you're going to make that leap, you need to at least try.

So that's my side of the story... and probably provides for many of the reasons I'm not a super friendly person to people I don't know. I just don't want to be; I have no problem just sitting by myself and being alone.