Thursday, October 18, 2012

advice for the LDR enthusiast .

Long distance relationships are not easy. But there are things you can do to make them easier... much easier. And so, given that I've been experiencing these things firsthand, I thought it would be nice to share them.

1. Realize that the only thing harder than saying goodbye is being together again, and having to say goodbye again. Prepare yourself for this post-visits.
2. Always have a date to count down to when you will see each other next.
3. Realize that things can be misinterpreted through texts or emails -- and don't get hot headed if you at first think something was offensive.
4. Communicate often. Imagine if the other person was there with you; what would they be seeing? Hearing? Feeling? Smelling? Tasting? Touching? Describe things in vivid detail.
5. Remind them often how much you care. And be sure to show your love too.
6. Send things: packages, letters, notes, gifts... it shows you care and you're thinking of them.
7. Anytime something reminds you of them, tell them.
8. Make the most of your visits. Bring a camera, and take pictures at a feverish rate so you have things to remember them by.
9. Make use of Skype or other video chatting services. It makes a huge difference being able to see them, even if your ISP sucks and they show up blurry and pixelated.
10. Share your joys, but also your sorrows, fears and angers. People want to be fully involved in your life.
11. Have a light at the end of the tunnel. Know that at some point the distance will close one final time.
12. Plan things to do when you visit, but also plan for doing-nothing-time -- you know, when you sit there and just cuddle or enjoy each other's company.
13. Find ways to have dates over the computer. These can be watching the same movie simultaneously, or a TV show, or just dressing up fancy for your video chat.
14. Be understanding. People are going to be busy sometimes, and work will get overwhelming. As much as they'd like to, they can't always put you first.
15. Talk things out. The sooner, the better.

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