Saturday, October 13, 2012

more humourous nonsense .

So, a comical post? Don't mind if I do!

This first popped into my head after what goes on on Twitter on the regs. I love those people that go out there and post vague shit on Twitter. For example... "Well seems like SOMEONE is in a good mood today..."

Dude, unless you name names you're just like those little trolls on Youtube who talk shit about everything and back up nothing. (We'll address them later). I think we all can agree that social media is probably THE WORST place you can spew your issues. Find a close friend to talk about that stuff with, and if you don't have any, well then you're on your own pal. And no, since you're thinking it and going to rag on me about it, Blogger is definitely NOT that sort of social media outlet. We're family here -- vent away :)

Speaking of those little Youtube trolls, I love the heroic little keyboard warriors we so often see. They think that they're so smart and that their opinion is the end-all be-all. But someone counters it and then boom -- they argue about nonsense, forgetting the true issue at hand and then they end up correcting grammar and arguing who has a higher IQ, or who has fucked more people, or how much they could beat them up -- or they say "I'm done arguing" and then continue to write more stuff to argue about. Basically at the end of the day they are both calling each other faggots and spewing curses every other word. In a nutshell. You know.

But not everyone whose mind clearly runs on bananas is on the interwebs. I love those people that blow by you and then slow down. This mostly happens on the highway, but it's even better when it happens on the two-lane country roads I have out near me. I'm like, buddy, I'm on cruise control, what the fuck is going on with your foot in there?! I usually try to get my ass out of the fast line if I see someone flying up, but it's not always possible (thank you, 18-wheelers...). I do the best I can.

Consequently it's equally as frustrating when you have someone who just wants to ride your butt for the hell of it. I'm like, dude there is an open lane, just pass me! Quit riding my ass and mooching off my gas mileage. Just because I have a truck doesn't mean I want to tow you through the air while you sit there looking like you're so pissed you could poop yourself. But this is the trick, I've learned: Option 1 is to just gradually slow down until they realize they're moving significantly slower than you and move around to pass. Option 2 (my preferred choice) brake check the fuck out of them and laugh when they start cursing and asking themselves what the fuck just happened. The best part? If they hit you from behind it's their fault. And it's your word against theirs when it comes to "that squirrel you swore you saw".

Lastly, and one of my biggest pet peeves, is people tailgating you when you're already speeding. Now, I'll be honest, I tailgate a fair amount but it's only because the cars in South Carolina run on molasses, and so do the people. But if I'm already going 5+ over the limit, there is absolutely no reason why you should be riding my bumper. Get it together already!

If you have more things you think I should add to this list, let me know! I'm happy to hear about ideas.

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