Saturday, August 25, 2012

how to handle the heat of the south .

As you all know, I live in the lovely state of South Carolina, and to be perfectly frank, it's fucking hot. It's humid, it's sticky, it downpours pretty regularly, and it is like sitting in an oven. BUT. The best thing is, it's beatable. I would know; I've been doing it for almost four years. Here are my tips to you on how to beat the sticky humid heat of the south.

1. Disregard all pairs of pants that are hanging in your closet. Unless you're going out in the middle of the night (when it will be a "cool" 75 degrees with 90% humidity), you won't need them. There is really only one outfit that works. Super cut off tshirts and athletic shorts. And yes, by cut off tshirts I mean those pretty revealing shirts that all the douchebags (including myself) at the gym wear.

2. Drink water. TONS of water. Gallons per day. Because seriously, you will sweat it all out over the course of the day.

3. Expect to go through several shirts per day. This means a higher amount of laundry. Which means you have less time to do all that other shit that you were supposed to do during the day. Or, there is the alternative, which is soaking in your own sweat and getting those really attractive pit stains under your arm.

4. If you're wearing a backpack, one-strap it. If you're not a one-strapper, you'll be that guy who sits down in class with a big dark square of sweat on your back from walking around in the heat.

5. Just because it rains doesn't mean it's going to be cool outside. It'll probably be humid as fuck with moisture so thick you could cut it with a knife. So embrace the rain, it's okay to be a little wet!

6. Find routes around campus that cut through buildings. That way you can bask in their glorious a/c, even if the moment is fleeting. If this isn't possible, milk your time in the shade. Trees are a saving grace.

7. Get used to it. This is the best piece of advice I can give; the weather will not change until somewhere in October or November. So just suck it up and get over it. I don't give a shit that you came from Alaska and it's always frigid. I'm from NJ, and I deal with it on the daily, so shut it.

8. Dive in the lake in your backyard -- oh wait, that's just me that has a boat dock in my backyard on the lake :)

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