breaks .

Every time there is a break, and in particular winter break, I always make myself a list of things that I want to get done during that time; a list of goals persay. But no matter how much I write down on that list, it seems like I never get everything done that I wanted to get done.

Why is it that I am constantly unmotivated to do things that I even want to do? It's always a good list -- hang out with so and so, go snowboarding alot, record a lot of music, write a lot of things. I don't know though, for some reason it just simply never seems to get done.

Motivation is a tough thing to understand. For me it seems like if it's going to get done I need to literally have a deadline for it. Regardless of what it is, it won't get done without that pressure.

That just might be one of the main reasons why I did not sleep for a combined time of over a month this semester... hmm.......

If only I could actually focus on things and be good at time management, imagine how much stuff I could actually get done! Though I find that when given the opportunity for free time, I end up wasting it doing something like watching tv or playing playstation or wasting away time on my laptop doing absolutely nothing. The last thing anyone wants to do over a break is work, but I feel like that might keep me more in line, at least with my time management.

It's one of the things I've struggled with the most, especially since I began to have a more congested life during high school and in college. For whatever reason, when I finish something I just want to do absolutely nothing. Lack of sleep is one thing, and taking naps during free time is, believe me, completely and totally acceptable. However, it's when I have plenty of time and don't have anything pressing to do, and I do virtually nothing that kinda bothers me.

Take today, for example. I went to bed at 3am, woke up at noon, played a load of playstation, played on the computer, looked at potential jeeps on my laptop, and did not change out of my sleeping clothes the entire day. How productive. Oh yeah, and I played drums for about a half an hour. Tomorrow, I'm planning on going snowboarding, despite the fact it is supposed to be 20 degrees and windy. Oh well. I'm sure I'll survive. And hopefully in the coming days of break, I won't waste them doing nothing and actually do some stuff that I want and should get done. Most importantly though, I want to hang out with some old friends. People relationships are most likely the most important, and though I love my music, I suppose it can wait for now.

I should really get to bed so that I'm not completely drained, and I'll do my best to have a more interesting topic for tomorrow. For those still finishing up the semester or school year -- good luck on those finals and I'll be praying for you.