Friday, December 24, 2010

women .

The other half to men? The descendents of Eve? Aliens from Venus?

Wherever you want to say they come from, and whatever you want to call them, women are some of the most confusing creatures I have ever met. Pardon me, let's call them humans, as that is what they are, yes?

It's no secret that relationships are tough. And that you clearly have to work at them. We've all been there -- we've all been dumped, we've all had to make the decision to break up with someone. Either way, it's not easy going through that. A lot of times people ask what happened -- let me take this opportunity to quote one of my favorite movies; he asks 'what happened with them?' and she replies 'what always happens? Life.'

Amen, right?! There's just something that always happens. And the interesting thing is that you can usually put your finger on almost exactly what it is too. Somehow, things can be 100% perfect and the next second you're getting booted out the door of their lives, your luggage packed (except for that favorite hoodie she borrowed and you'll probably never see again, because despite the fact that it's one of your favorites and she thinks she hates you, she'll probably keep it as a memento to your relationship).

There are a billion things I could talk about on this subject, but I'll just do my best to collect my thoughts and hit on a few.

First, let me mention something entertaining that Jeff Russell brought up in a vlog. Girls and facebook. It is no longer simply social networking for them, but also a life photo album! Girls have a billion and a half pictures up there, and if you didn't know someone you could practically fabricate an entire life based upon the pictures they have up there because there are so many. Not to mention they think they look absolutely terrible in every single one of them, and look to you to affirm the fact that they are gorgeous and beautiful! And even then, sometimes some are so stubborn that when you try to tell them they are indeed beautiful and you mean if from the bottom of your heart, they constantly disagree to the point where you no longer want to compliment them anymore! And then here's the best part -- "oh yeah, I look terrible in that picture"

Then why is it your profile picture!?!?!?

And now on to a few more serious things, after that humorous digression.

I am a flirty person. Probably too much sometimes. I have always been more of an introvert, or at least I thought so. So when introverts meet extroverts, it's easy to carry on a conversation. I also love relationships. Which means even if I'm not thinking of it specifically, it always carries on in the back of my mind. And it also means that I may come off seeming like I'm super into somebody and maybe wanting to start something when I'm really just having fun and getting to know someone better. Because I try not to just jump into things without knowing someone well. Or at the very least, spending some good solid time with them.

It's also probably pretty common for people to like to have options. There's always people I could see myself potentially dating, some more than others. So when people ask if I like anyone, I usually don't have an answer for them, other than that there are people I could see myself potentially getting involved in. However, usually people really try to pursue one person to start something with, and that may be where I am different. I like to get to know everyone equally well -- because even if I don't date them, I still want to be good friends, because if they passed my standards to the "dating potential" level, then in my mind, they are clearly good people, and their hearts and minds are in the right place. That's attractive to me, end of story. Naturally, I'll want to spend time with them, talk with them, etc, just to sort of feel things out.

The problem is that there is a line between hanging out as friends and getting to know someone, and leading them on. The last thing I want to do is be viewed as a heartbreaker, or someone who led people on and on and then snipped the cord. But maybe that's just what I tend to do. I really enjoy female companionship and company, because as said in previous blogs, I'm always worried of what happens if I don't find the right person, and thus I tend to lean toward spending lots of time with them. I also am a person who really enjoys humor, and really enjoys making people laugh. Thus, doing so and joking around can be taken as flirting. But who's to say it is or isn't?

There is no rule book when it comes to the relationship between a man and a woman. True, there are general moral codes, and although those seem to be having less and less of a presence in today's relationships (as sad as that is) I am completely prepared to uphold them. However, in terms of the time before an official relationship begins, there is no code, other than to be courteous and chivalrous (or at I least that's what I think should happen!)

Usually you can tell if someone is really into you. Maybe I'm just really hard to read, because apparently it's not easy. Believe me, the last thing I want to do is hurt somebody -- because I have been on the receiving end of that far too many times, and I know how hard it is, and I know how confusing it is. So in a sense, perhaps I am just as confusing as any woman out there -- life does not simply revolve around football and beer (haha). In the end, I just want to get to know you. There's no need to ever rush things, I believe, since we all have our entire lives ahead of us! And usually rushing through just makes things more complicated in the end, resulting in both parties getting hurt, and the asphyxiation of a relation begins. How sad, given that there was so much potential.

I'm not saying that I'm saying this as a disclaimer to getting to know me. And perhaps I should rethink the way I act around people. But I think that before you pursue a relationship and jump into things, you should get to know each other first as good friends (a great girl taught me that once, and always reminded me that patience was a virtue -- and a good one to follow at that!).

I'm normally that guy that takes a relationship super serious from the very beginning. But with all that serious contemplation -- what happens to the fun? Wish I could tell you, but it just flew out the window along with the relationship. The fun is what makes it worth it -- I need to keep in mind why I was interested in this person in the first place; because we had a lot of fun together!! I truly believe that in some cases, starting a relationship can just muddle things endlessly, and no one wants that.

On that note, it may very well be that women are incredibly confusing. Confusing to read, confusing to understand, confusing to interact with. But I suppose I've just proven that I am equally as much of a headcase. Howeverrrrrr, I think we can all agree, that we need each other. And it's that constant putting up with each other and the letting it all just flow as necessary, that makes it all worth it in the end when you are finally happy with the one you were meant to be with forever.

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On a side note, I am happy to say that my direction of writing lyrics is going to take a different direction, and I have finally decided what that direction will be. Instead of dwelling on the things that hurt me, and the time I have had my heart broken (as great as that material may be) I am beginning to ask myself what I see in life that is beautiful. It can be something as small as the wind in my face, or the vibrancy of the blue sky, or the simple colors on a page. What is in life is indeed beautiful, and sometimes it's not always easy to see. This is where I come in. Using music as an outlet, I am able to take the beauty and majesty in this world, and pass it through a conduit to sounds and words, where it messages can be heard, understood and celebrated. Sound good? Let me know what you think.

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