secrets to being a good kisser .

So how in the world am I going to type this post without coming off sounding like a total pompous arrogant ass? Good question. But allow me to try... I've been told by several of the people I've dated in the past (and some that I haven't) that I'm a very good kisser (nope, still sounds pompous). And I've never really tried to do anything super spectacular, and it's not like I have some sort of Superman drug-infused tongue that makes people think that I am a good kisser. Maybe it just comes naturally? (yep, very pompous indeed...).

While I suppose I could say these are tips for guys, they can really apply to anyone. This is simply my take on how kissing should be, combined with my guesses as to why people have told me that I'm a good kisser.

First, you gotta take your time. Kissing someone is not about diving into their face with your tongue hanging out like a slobbering puppy and then promptly shoving it down their throat. It takes finesse people. And yes, I just used the word finesse. The start is so important, that even just moving your face towards the other's should be done in a very emotional way. You want them to feel like the two of you are the only people in the room! Kissing is not about playing tongue hockey and it's not just a stepping stone to getting some. It is its own animal entirely, and you should treat it as such! On the topic of time, before we move on, you don't always have to kiss the first time you're out with someone, and if you do you don't have to use tongue either! Some people may not be comfortable with that, some will, some will be put off and some won't. But there's no shame in moving slowly and at a comfortable rate, right?

Second, clean up. Be presentable. Look nice. If you like wearing perfume or cologne, go for it, but don't bathe in it so much that a person still smells your scent after you walk all the way down the hallway. Wear chapstick often, so your lips won't be dry and crackly (I'm all of a sudden starting to sound very feminine... bear with me), and of course, brush your teeth! No one likes getting food remnants exchanged from mouth to mouth while you're kissing (unless you're into that sort of thing... I guess?). You'll find that over time as you get to know the person more and more these things will become less important. But for first impressions, I feel like these are a must.

Third, remember the little things. They make all the difference. Running your hands through their hair, wrapping your arms around their waist, putting a hand gingerly on their cheek, all of these things are (for me anyways) definite turn-ons. Think about this for a moment. In middle school, all the dances sucked. Why? Because everybody stood there three feet apart, yet trying to slow dance with someone. Arms outstretched and hands on the hips ain't gonna cut it here. Don't be afraid to get close and intimate! That's what this is supposed to be anyways, am I right?

Fourth, don't be afraid to be a little bold. Boys, girls don't like having to make the first move. I've literally had people stick their face as close as they can to mine, and without saying anything it absolutely screams "please kiss me now!!" I like to wait for "the moment." I have to totally feel it and dig the idea before I try anything. But at some point there is always that "now or never" point where if you're feeling the kiss and feeling the girl, you just gotta go for it and see what happens! To the girls out there, I don't know about other boys but if you feel like taking control here, go for it. Some guys don't mind yielding control, and may actually like it!

Time for the big kahuna. This is what I would consider my ultimate secret, the best tip I could possibly give. Here we go! Everybody likes something different. This, in my opinion, is the number one thing to remember! Everyone has those little nuances that drive them absolutely crazy, and it's up to you to find those things out! Each person has a sort of different kissing style. Guys, it's up to us to woo the ladies. The less they have to change about themselves and the less they have to adapt their styles, the easier it will be. Once you figure out those things that they like, you need to adapt your kissing style to that. Trust me, they will be not only floored that you found their favourite stuff, but that you cared enough to take note of it and apply it! I don't really have my own kissing style. If I'm kissing someone, I want them to enjoy it, and figuring out their turn-ons and seeing their enjoyment bubble over from it, is what makes it enjoyable for me.

Anyone who tells you "do this with your hands" or "move your tongue like this" or "start like this" is full of shit. If you're following some sort of mental rule book, it won't be enjoyable and the other person won't be happy either! This is not the sort of thing that you'll see in the "_________ for Dummies" section of Barnes & Noble. When it comes down to it, I can't possibly tell you what the ingredients are to your very own Perfect Kisser Pie. YOU need to be able to read the person, both before and while you're kissing! You need to get into it yourself, and try to connect with them not only on that physical level, but on an emotional level too -- and when you get to that point, I can almost guarantee that sparks will fly.