I check this site called "Waiting Till Marriage" mildly often in my web travels. More often than not I click on an article that the site tweets, as those are the titles of things that often pique my curiosity. It's not like I avidly seek out everything there is to offer. For those of you who aren't familiar with WTM, it's basically a support site. There are stories, columns of advice, links to articles and more regarding the ever less-popular decision to wait to have sex until marriage. This has always been my belief; sometimes you are ridiculed and sometimes you are exalted for the choice to wait, but at the end of the day it's got to mean something to you and it has to be something that you truly believe in, not just for the sake of morality or because it's what your parents might want; it has to be something that you want.
Sex is in the forefront of everything, everywhere. It is an attention grabber that we, as a society, just can't get enough of. And I totally get it. It's intriguing, and mysterious, and everyone's experiences are different and no one wants to feel like they're being left out of something that many hold in such high regard. But why such the drastic polar opposites? How can one person call it a "sacred choice" and the other a "shameful status"?
Virginity, for me, is something to be celebrated. It is one of the few things I've really stuck to my guns about, and really held on to as tight as I possibly can. The reason I save it is because I only want to give it to one person, and if and when I do, I can say that I truly gave that person everything I had in me to give.
Society, with all its interest in sex, generally seems to disregard those who choose to wait, calling them "old-fashioned" or stuck up. But I think it's important to realize that people who wait are not trying to hold it over your head. If you're not a waiter, that's your personal choice. I'm not trying to come off like I think I'm better than anybody who doesn't want to wait; I just feel very strongly about it and maybe sometimes that's the connoted tone.
In a world where sex sells and especially being in my early twenties with sexual imagery and triggers all around me, it's not easy. If I'm honest with myself it really never has been. It is so inspiring to even have a community online where everyone supports each other for their personal choices, and it's cool even to see those who do not escape the limelight to voice their opinions and decisions without shame or hesitation. Honestly, what's to be ashamed of? It's a question I have never been able to answer.
Maybe it's just an expectation. A feeling of acceptance of those who embrace infidelity with their boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives. They get a slap on the wrist, but unless you're the one getting hurt, or you're publicly humiliated, I guess many people don't think it's a big deal. (Sidenote: I can't stand this and believe me, am wholeheartedly against it...)
So what is the label on virginity? Sacred choice? Shameful status? I think it is what it is. Embrace it, or don't. Save it, or don't. But whatever you do, don't regret what you do with it -- because once you give it up you don't get it back.