Thursday, July 21, 2011

a night out .

I haven't had some serious good talks with people on my family for a long time. My brother and I are pretty good about talks once we actually get into them, but since I am so far away it's hard for us to stay really close. I'm so excited that he comes home tomorrow... and can't wait to hear all of the stories that he has to tell, as I'm sure it will take forever! But this post is not about him, surprisingly, and instead is about my Dad and I.

We do some father-son things, but it's been a long time since I really connected with him. Other than my brother, I think he is the one who gets me the most. We talked about so many things tonight and I'm going to try to remember them all more or less so I can touch on them in here, but I doubt I will. I know parents usually have the best of intentions (if not always) but sometimes things just don't work. We fight quite a bit, and my Dad told me tonight that he knows that if something heated happens between us he knows just to leave me alone and let me work it out, knowing that I'll cool down within a few hours and (jokingly) a week. He's so right. Though parenting is hard and I imagine parenting me is especially difficult, I think he's onto something.

What can I say? As much as I may not want to admit it, we had a great dinner. Mom was out at a book club meeting, and so we were on our own for dinner. There was leftovers, but as is the usual lazy thing to do with the boys, he told me 'I think I could easily be convinced to go out.' Upon my question of 'where do you want to go?' that was apparently enough to convince him.

The first half was just general conversation here and there, and since it has been really prevalent recently, talk focused on the Tour de France. But soon I began talking about communication, especially in relationships, all about how I met various people who I eventually began dating. The interesting part is hearing the pieces where those things overlapped with my parents, from his point of view. The past few girls I've introduced them to they have been absolutely thrilled with. I'm hoping this means that I have good taste -- though my dad said he always tries to do his best to make them feel welcome and at home in the company of our family. I can't exactly say the same for Mom, as she can be judgmental and condescending and sorta wears those feelings on her sleeve. But my dad is alright, and I think the girls who have met him can (hopefully) attest to that.

I haven't opened up this much to a parent in years. I'm sure there will be a lot of you out there reading this that are proud of me for that... I'll be honest I didn't try very hard it just happened. And I realized that we might be able to actually survive on that sort of level. Only time will tell. Hmm.. I seem to be using that phrase a lot lately. It felt weird... but weird in a good sort of way. To be able to just chat and not feeling like I have to worry about being judged or lectured or any of those things.

I'll be honest, I don't expect it to continue. But perhaps long-term civility isn't so far off....

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