Tuesday, July 19, 2011

the truth about lying . [pt 2]

Okay, so seeing as how my thoughts the other day seemed to be a bit scrambled, the respite between then and now should have helped a bit. So; the truth. As a definition, it has several. We 'hold these truths to be self-evident.' So that could be simply as a proof of sorts, an accepted fact. But then there is the truth, where so many often are frustrated. "Why can't you just tell me the truth?" Ah, yes. That truth.

I think it is in our nature to want to get out of sticky situations. And rightfully so, as no one wants to create argumentative situations and much less those that will lose a bond of truth and honesty between parties. Although I suppose there are those that are just belligerent and thrive on creating problems. Shame on them.

There's no doubt about it; the truth can be ugly. And in such a situation, would I rather know the truth and suffer and hurt hearing it, or forever be left wondering what really went on? That's not an easy decision. However, I would much rather have someone tell me the ugly truth and deal with that than tell me a lie to my face to cover up something. As is the saying, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Even if you were trying to protect someone, I think that it's better to just let it out there.

Of course, then there is the subject of timing. In a serious matter, you can't just blurt it out anywhere in front of anyone. Perhaps in private counsel is the best, especially in a serious matter. Though these days, with all the social networking, we have allowed a great many parts of our lives to go from private to public -- and it's only too easy that something gets out that you don't want to.

This whole truth thing is tricky ain't it?

Sometimes it's hard to be the bearer of bad news. And then you have to deal with whatever reaction occurs... and you may just be caught up in it despite the fact you are only a messenger. If you are the involved party, well, you could have quite a scene on your hands. Maybe that's the origination of lies. People want to avoid the pain and the hurt, but also picking up the pieces when everything hits the fan. Even so.. I'd want to hear it. The truth. Because the sooner the pain hits, the sooner your heart begins to sag and the sooner that you run scenarios through your mind trying to figure out what you could have done in the past to prevent this, the sooner you can get over it all.

Trust is a funny thing. It's so hard to get, and so so easy to lose. It only takes one break; one break and you can lose a person's trust forever. And as I said in the previous post on this topic, even if you never tell that person another lie, they will always be wondering if what you say is really what is. I don't want to be in that position. And yet so often we find ourselves spit something out that is complete bull, and for what? My dad always likes to say 'how much is your integrity worth?'

Well, for starters, certainly more than a few lies.

Now I know I focused mainly on what could happen with bad truths that we don't know, or when lies are told instead of the truth. But that's just what was mostly on my mind. If we all just told the truth all the time, there would be nothing to write about now would there? And who knows. New stuff on this topic might pop into my head later.

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