Wednesday, July 20, 2011

sadness is not fleeting .

Opposites. Happy and sad, love and hate, tears and laughter, on and off, left and right. But are they really balanced antonyms? Happiness, joy, laughter, excitement. These things seem to come and go in a moment. In the same way that "time flies when you're having fun," the positive emotions just don't really stick with you much. And believe me, boy do I wish they did.

In all fairness, the really historic moments in your life stay with you. And while nostalgic moments are really nice and the memories are nice as well, I don't think that the original excitement and joy can be recreated -- ever. Not for that particular moment. An example: I remember the time I hit my first home run in my travel league. People on base, we needed runs, we were playing a tough team, and me not being the strongest hitter was having a rough year at the plate. And then I parked one over the double-high fence in left-center. The 'home-run jog' was such a foreign thing, but felt so good to be able to do! Upon rounding third, I saw the entire team crowding the plate. I took a big leap and stomped on it with both feet, and was instantly mobbed in pats on the back, cheers and congratulations. What an experience, truly!

But the fact remains the same, that moment was so fleeting, and it's almost hard to remember a lot of details of events like that. And the pounding of your heart turned into your entire body doing internal cartwheels is a rather insane feeling.

But then there's sadness, grief, mourning and heartbreak. Doesn't it somehow seem that those things stick with you like glue? And even when you feel that you're completely over everything and have finally been able to or allowed yourself to move on, one little thing can make you fall right back off a cliff right back to where you started. And again you begin to climb, one hold at a time. That doesn't seem fair to me.

One might suggest that we are responsible for holding ourselves back from moving on. I beg to differ. Some things, check that, a lot of things are just really hard to get by and move on from. And while the cliche of "time heals all things" may work, what if a sufficient amount of time never even passes? Are we to be doomed to live out our lives without some semblance of bliss and contentment?

Ironically enough, only time will tell. I can't explain why things the way they are. My guess is as good as yours. But when those feelings won't go away, the sadness and perhaps a bit of depression and loneliness, there seems to be naught to do but wait.

I'll never fully understand feelings.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Would love to hear what you are thinking. Leave a comment!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...