Francis Bacon said that "God doth hang the greatest weights upon the smallest wires." In some ways, I agree with this. He stretches the limit, and stretches the mental and emotional wires of people. There's something I always tell myself though, when problems arise or something of the sort: God wouldn't give this to me if he knew I couldn't handle it. And then, all of a sudden, things are better. It's not that they're physically better -- but your outlook has changed. And that can make a world of a difference.
One of the reasons I haven't posted lately is that I've been sick. Ever since I got back from Dublin 2 weeks ago, I've felt under the weather. It bounced back and forth being better and worse, and then one day I woke up and i felt absolutely awful. I didn't know what had happened, because I had begun to feel much better, and now all of a sudden it felt like my throat was closing up and I could barely swallow anything.
My mind went to the worst case scenario possibilities: strep throat, tonsillitis, even mononucleosis. The symptoms I had were all quite similar for these things. The very next day I was able to get a doctor's appointment, and not only did the lady speak perfect English because she is originally from Ohio. She also told me I got lucky, because one of her appointments canceled, thus opening the way for me to come in. It was truly a practical miracle; because I was dying pretty bad.
Turned out, it was nothing too serious. I have sinusitis and pharyngitis. My glands are very swollen, and my ear canals are a bit inflamed, and I have loads of mucus dripping down the back of my throat, hence the irritation. It's really gross, because if I look in the mirror I can see it too. But, I got prescribed an antibiotic, and ibuprofen just in case the headaches or any other head pain gets too bad. But I've been doing my best to take care of myself -- staying warm, sleeping, taking my medication when necessary, drinking hot fluids. Eating is super hard -- the space that I have to swallow in is drastically smaller do to the amount my glands and tonsils are swollen -- but hopefully that will come down soon.
Hopefully, I get better soon. I was pretty distraught at first, because the last thing I wanted was to get really sick when I was in Europe. I remember looking at the travel insurance and thinking, 'Nah, I'll never need to use this.' And yet, here I am, using it, and sick. I can only hope that it goes away quick because I'm looking forward to being able to swallow normally again!
Like I said earlier though... God would never give me something that he knew I couldn't handle. It may suck, and I may sometimes feel dizzy, or that my throat is on fire, or super hot from a fever. But I have some medication, and I have a lot of good people around me (thank you Brittany for soup last night). In the coming days I'm sure things will clear up. So, a great weight on a small wire? Yes -- but not so much that it'll break.