Given the nature of the season, it's time to take a step back and reevaluate. To say that I want to revisit and reevaluate my life would be a bit of an overstatement, but on the right track. People always seem to make resolutions at the turn of the new year. But if those prove to be irrelevant, or if things simply aren't turning the way you imagined, let's consider this time a great time to amend prior resolutions (whether they happened at New Years or not).
It's the last night of Spring Break and I'm sitting here laying in bed with naught but the gentle hum of the fan and the perpetual ticking of the clock on the wall. And with the end of the school year around the corner, a summer with hopefully a good job somewhere, and my last year of undergraduate college coming up, I'd love to be able to graduate completely satisfied with the person I am: mentally, physically and emotionally.
It won't be easy, and never is, especially when an outright conscious decision is made to try something new or do something different. But this should help me in the end, and so I'll stare into my reflection as long as it takes for the change to bloody set in.
Basically, I just need to calm down and live life. I'm thinking too much again. And as interesting as thinking can be sometimes, it can really do some terrible things to your life, and make your mentally eat yourself away. It's pretty much the last thing I need. So from now on, I'll make it simpler. Easier. Concise, and true.
I need to revisit my values, goals and general attitude towards a large variety of things in my life, and ask myself where I want to see myself in relation to those down the road.
If after all is said and done after that time and I'm not happy with how i turned out, well there is always another day to try and sort things out. For the time being, I'm feeling pretty positive and I think it's affecting me in a good way. I hope it sticks around for awhile, because I sure could use it!
But yeah, changes are in store, and I need to revisit and reflect on who I've been and how I've been portraying myself to the people I hold closest to me. I don't think it's who I really want to be. It all should be easy, simple, and not as cloudy or complex as I'm making it. Whatever happened to just live and have fun? Which brings me to an interesting junction: I'm going to start making a short list of rules for myself in life. Maybe one day I'll be able to hand them to future (potential) kids and it'll help them out a little bit. Every little bit of information helps; there is no guidebook to life!
Prayers are greatly appreciated.
Today's Thought Provokers:
Have you stuck to your New Year's Resolutions or are they already gone?
What changes to you want to make to yourself and how do you go about doing it?
Yes sometimes thinking too much can be detrimental. I think it's important to try consciously to live in moments and not over think things, but at the same time I realize that's sometimes easier said than done. Like you say, there is no guidebook to life but the good thing is, we are the authors of our life!
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to portraying yourself to those you care about, take off any masks and let people get to know you as you are -- with your dreams, your passions, your likes and dislikes, your interests, skills and talents. Yes, it can be risky to reveal your true self, but at least it won't feel like work. And then there will be no false pretenses; the people who gravitate to you will like you for who you are. And THAT should feel good!
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