it might be time .

I think... that maybe it's time to give music a real shot. I don't mean as a career, but I do mean to really explore the possibilities with what I can do. I have been so gifted in so many things... and I'd like to think that music is one of them. I'm embarrassed to say that my guitar has sat under my bed collecting dust, and I probably haven't picked it up and really played for awhile in almost a year... maybe more. That thing used to be my baby, and now I've let it fall into neglect beyond comprehension. I miss it...


Now, granted, there are tons of people out there on Youtube involved in music, and even tons more watching. I've always been scared of what people might say, or even that my own sick sense of perfectionism might ruin what little courage I have to put something out there to begin with. I know that if I ever want to get anyone to notice, that I'd probably have to start out doing covers. And I'm okay with that. Though I'd like to keep writing my own music and my own songs, I'm perfectly okay with the fact that it might take awhile before those come out of the woodwork.

I'm also perfectly aware that if I'm going to put my music up on Youtube, that I need to actually sit there and play it for real... I need to sing and play it at the same time, not forget the words, mess up, something like that. I'd want to go for a sort of unplugged feel... because to me, that's just more real. No editing to make myself sound better or whatever... my mistakes are my mistakes. And while I'm sure I'd never be happy with it fully, maybe it would be good.

Honestly I can't even speculate about how this might turn out... but I feel like I should at least give it some thought. I want to fall in love again with my guitar, with my music, and just lose myself in it all. I know this will require time, and time isn't something I have a lot of, but I think it's something that might really let me be creative and let me express a lot of the emotions inside me.

Spring Break is coming up in a few weeks, and due to the warm weather, snowboarding in Canada might be a bust... it's really unfortunate, but it's simply the reality of it. Honestly, it would save me a lot of money, but that would mean a Spring Break at school... I did that Freshman, and even with a puppy around to keep me company it did get sorta lonely. But maybe a week off would let me get back into playing. It's really hard to say.

That being said, I'm not sure where I'm going to go with it, or where I even want to go. I know that I love music and have always loved being able to lay down some stuff. But I need to practice before I put anything up there, so... that's that.