Monday, January 17, 2011

the city . the country . the suburb . the wild .

Who you are plays a lot on where you grew up.

Who you become depends a lot on where you go, and what you do, and even where you settle down.

Weird, how some people are completely content with where they are, and others can't wait to get out. I have yet to find a place that I love so much that I want to be there the rest of my life. I've really enjoyed the time I've spent in Vermont... and really enjoyed some places overseas too. But I just don't know yet, and the time to settle down is rapidly approaching; I'm running out of time.

I grew up in a suburban area, though it is certainly close to the city environment. There's a city attitude, and tons of cars that pass by daily. Traffic can get really bad, but instead of a concrete jungle, there are quite a few golf courses, some parks, and in general many more green yards and trees around. I'm not necessarily saying this is good or bad. I'm just saying.

I've been to a fair number of different kinds of areas... and I have to say I simply have no idea where I want to be. There are times when I can see myself living miles away from civilization in a small house in a valley or in the mountains. But when I think practically, I know that this would not be good for a family, and make the normally simple things in life much harder (such as getting food and keeping a solid job).

Every time I've been to the city I've liked it. It's always busy; it never sleeps, I don't mind the attitude of the people, and it's cool to walk down a street and think about the millions of different paths all those people take. The fact that many people can coexist so easily is amazing in itself. And then when the noise and the bustle wear you down, you can retire to an apartment in upper Manhattan where the city is reduced to a dull roar. There are also of course those extraordinary views from the tops of the skyscrapers, and it is a surreal experience to walk down the street gazing up at them.

Again though, not sure I could possibly live there. I like it every time I go ... but I have a feeling that after awhile it would just be too much. I would just need some piece and quiet.

Then of course I have a sinking feeling that I won't be able to stay in one place for too long. Whether that be because I need to move to a different area for a new job, or I just get tired of the one place, something tells me that I am a spirit that can't be too tied down. I wonder about this being difficult for a family -- both a future wife and kids. Looking back on my childhood, I wish I had moved at least once. Just to experience it. At least that way then I would know how hard or easy it is. Some may dread it, others may find it a welcome escape, a chance to remake yourself. I probably wanted to move since I went to school with the same rich and spoiled kids for years and years. I don't want to make life for my kids any harder than it will already be. I can only hope I make the best decisions as a parent given the situations.

One of my favorite movies, called Into the Wild, is about a boy who gets rid of everything including money to go spend time in Alaska; it ends up being a real growing up experience, but it also ends up being the last thing that he does before he dies from eating a poisonous plant. But that freedom he finds is something I hope to achieve someday. Next time I'll write about some bucket list items I have in mind. It was mentioned to me by someone the other day and it got me thinking about making a list of all the things I want to have done before I die.

Lyric of the day:
"For what it's worth, I've always admired you, I always thought that we could make it through, Now look what time can do, It took our masterpiece we built and broke it in two, I always believed in you, I always loved you"

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