Thursday, January 20, 2011

exhaustion .

School has hit me hard. There is already so much to be done and given that I have so many group projects, speeches, etc. etc., it worries me that I will not be able to blog as much, or even have as much time to unwind. Granted, I probably wasted a lot more time today than I really had to waste, but as always that is a struggle. I simply find it hard to keep focused on things, especially in an academic area where I am not inclined to try very hard (ahem... german...). I'm already up at 230 on a night before I have an 8am class, and not just an 8am, but 3 classes back to back to back, beginning with an 8am. Talk about rough.

Seriously, I need to work on this and it's difficult to begin to fathom how I am going to get through it all. And while it is a blessing in disguise to be among the first to present in several classes, it certainly doesn't make my life any easier for the time being.

Quite the contrary, it makes it extremely stressful and there are a ton of things constantly hanging over your head. And yet, there are things I still want to be able to fit in, like volleyball, or reading the daily devo and reflecting on it a bit, or running and such.

I guess in my head, those other things are not as much "free time" (with the exception of volleyball), but rather things that I simply have to get done for the day. The problem is with something I don't want to do, well, I realllyyyyy don't want to do it. Not to mention I already feel behind in my German class and it's only been 2 days. I have a quiz tomorrow (and by tomorrow I mean today) that I've barely studied for, on something I never understood very well, and pretty much blew off entirely this weekend.

At what point does the wakeup call smack me in the face? At what point do I realize that some of the things I "have" to do simply become my free time and that I have to take the workload in stride and just work diligently and focus intently? At what point do I finally take control of this wonderful opportunity to learn that I am blessed to have, and put all of my efforts toward it?

It makes me feel like I really need to earn my place here, and though my grades may not show it, some were a real struggle to get. I only hope that I can continue to keep myself in high academic standing, both for my sake and my future's sake. And Lord knows, I am going to pray. Alot.

Lyric of the day:
"They've got your name. They've got your number. They've got your hopes, your dreams, your future."

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