In my opinion, it can make or break a relationship. Wouldn't it all be so much easier if everything was out in the open? If everything was just real between two people, and if they didn't hide things (unless it was something like a surprise party). People wouldn't get hurt, and they might even stay together longer. But there's one problem with honesty. Frankly, sometimes the truth hurts. I've been in situations where people say that they want to know the truth -- even if it's something that they don't want to hear. Telling it is just as hard as hearing it. Though I've been on the asking end of that situation -- and in all reality I don't want to know the truth if it is something I don't want to hear. But we don't live in a fantasy life like that.
Honesty is one of my highest held values, especially with the person I'm dating. I've been on the receiving end of secrets that weren't meant to be exposed, and it's never pretty if the dirt is brushed away. For me, if something happens, there's no point in covering it up. If you did something wrong, I think while the other person might hate you for awhile, at least they'll still have respect for you trying to clear the air right away. And I might add, as much as I hate waiting around to have an intense conversation like that, it does mean more when it's in person as opposed to on the phone or something impersonal like that.
Attempting to cover something up doesn't just speak to your character, but usually gets you caught in an exponentially growing web of lies. No one wants to be there -- and sooner or later your mess has gotten out of control and the person asks you, why didn't you just tell me in the first place?
How true. People assume things. And if they don't know what's going on, they are forced to base their assumptions off of what they know. If what they know isn't the whole story, then they are forced to fabricate the rest of the story to fill in the gaps. And who knows what type of fabrication will occur.
Not only will you lose respect, but you lose trust. One lie is all it takes. I've had it happen to me. Lied. And not gotten away. And in my opinion, it's impossible to completely get away scot free, unless you run. Run and never come back. I don't ever want to have to do that.
When I was about to get myself into a mess my dad always used to ask me if my integrity was worth whatever I was doing. For example, was my integrity worth 5 bucks, or one signature, or something that after thinking about it, is completely trivial to the life I lead. The answer is and always should be, no, it's not. It's a good question to ask yourself. I don't speak highly of my parents often -- but in this one he's right. It's a piece of advice I'll never forget.
I hope that if I get myself into a situation I'll have the strength to clear the air as fast as possible. It would be nice to avoid those situations in the first place... but no one is perfect and life doesn't always go according to plan; people makes mistakes. I just have to remind myself to be strong. Because if anything I have learned one thing: For me, screwing my integrity is simply not worth it.