Today's blog is inspired by the song "Belle of the Boulevard" by Dashboard Confessional. The first verse hit me today while I was listening. Here it is:
Down in a local bar
Out on the boulevard
The sound of an old guitar
Is saving you from sinking
It's a long way down
It's a long way
Back like you never broke
You tell a dirty joke
He touches your leg and thinks he's getting close
For now you let him just this once
Just for now
And just like that - it's over
Why do girls have to play games like that? That's fucked up. It makes you seem like a player.
Lemme tell it to you straight, to all girls, from a guy. And I cannot make this any more clear.
If you don't have any feelings for someone do not lead them on.
It's happened to me way too many times when I'm interested in someone and they're just not. But it totally seems like they are. If you feel like someone's coming on to you and you're not feel it, you can say it outright:
"I'm flattered, but look, I'm just not looking for anything more than a friendship with you."
I'd much prefer that than think that I'm getting somewhere and put effort in and then realize it was all for naught. Of course, I mean, let people down easy. Don't go out there and just be like...
"Dude what the fuck; I'm not interested!"
That would be a wee bit rude...
If other guys are anything like me it takes a good bit of courage to make any sort of move and sort of take that plunge and risk the friendship to see if there's something more there. Lord knows if the other person is extremely turned off all of a sudden it can be very awkward.
Anyways, I just figured I'd mention that, and if you haven't listened to the song do it. It's interesting how it seems that there is so much love, emotion, and heartbreak in the songs of a band like Dashboard Confessional. Would they have any material if they didn't keep getting their heart broken? I'm kinda the same way. That's the sort of thing that usually inspires me to write songs. It's an easy topic to blather on about endlessly.
Basically I had this song on in the car and a girl I met last summer was on my mind, and how we really hit it off, which was awesome because I sorta asked them out on a whim and it worked out. We were never officially together or officially dating, but we went out a few times. It was really nice and I thought we connected on a lot of levels. But, I knew I was going off to Spain and they were going off to school as well (and while I was 3000 miles away in Spain, even if I was at my normal campus it's 800 miles away from Jersey) and we didn't know what was going to happen when we left. I was excited regardless though and did my best to keep in touch, but when I came home in December, it was made pretty clear to me that they didn't wanna hang out. Which is fine, just came as a surprise. I was only home for a short time and I let them know when that window was, but when you get a response that's like...
"Wow, that's not a very long time and I'm really busy..."
Well, that's about the point to just push it to the side and accept defeat humbly. It's real unfortunate that such a good and fun and real thing had to go to waste. And yet, I'm not bothered. No need to get all hot and put off about it. Just sort of took me by surprise is all.