Wednesday, June 27, 2012

love & the internet .

Online dating is an odd concept. Sign up for something, pay some money or don't, be connected with randoms and try to guess who is real, who isn't, and who is just a creep. And there are TONS of sites out there that do this. Take your pick, honestly. But, there is something that I really hate about the online dating world. It seems too easy. Now for those of you who instantly thought, "are you fucking kidding me?!" let me explain what I mean by that.

You don't have to search for anyone. It all comes to you. Some random system matches you up. What do you actually do other than click a button? Granted, not many people find love from these things, but some people do!

I think that the online part takes the magic out of it. I like to just let whatever happens happens.

But here's the most important part I think before you go to any sort of dating, or hopes of dating: you have to be okay with not finding the right person. I think that a) too many people settle for someone instead of being picky. It's perfectly okay to be picky when you're picking the person you want to spend the rest of your life with! And b) they feel like they need to have someone.

It took me a long time, but I'm at that point where I've thought long and hard about it, and I am perfectly okay if I end up by myself for the rest of life. While it would certainly enrich my life to have someone there with me to celebrate all that life is, I'm not going to be dejected and upset and frustrated if that person doesn't come along. Trust me, I love the company, the cuddling, the holding hands, the dates... all of that is awesome and I love relationships, even down to the little things. But I can't let that dictate my life. At the end of the day,  I need to do what's best for me, and that certainly isn't moping around.

Too many times have I found myself trying too hard to find a perfect girl, or any girl that I click with sort of, to have potential with to start a relationship with. Point is, it's not simple and never will be. So I have tried to just forget about that, and just enjoy things for what they are. If there's something out there or someone out there for me, they will show up in time. And when they do, I'll know. But if they never do, that's okay! It took me a long time to get to that point. This way I get to just go with the flow and let things flow down the river of life and watch them as they pass by, deciding whether or not I want to wade in. For me, that's the best way.

What are your thoughts on this? How do you find yourself looking for that perfect person? Would love to hear them.


  1. I have things to say! Yay!

    I was definitely looking too hard back in my 2nd/3rd year of university. As a result, I got seriously hurt. I was an emotional wreck for a long time- my brain could not understand how the guy I'd picked just didn't love me anymore.

    After that, I started to relax a little, and really didn't get serious with anyone, partly out of fear, partly because I realized I had so much more to learn about myself before I'd be ready for another serious relationship.

    I remember the point when I was working 2 jobs and 60 hour weeks when I thought "okay, I do NOT have time for this shit, I do not have time to date or anything and I don't really care because I'm busy as hell and I'm really happy with that".

    And, OF COURSE, not too long after that, my current boyfriend walked into my life. When I told him I was too busy to date, and that I still hadn't figured everything out.... he was havin' none of it. He said something like "Life is better when it's not all black and white, things are supposed to be a little messy... you can't seriously decide to be on your own forever when I'm waiting right here, not giving up on you."

    and that was the end of my "I don't care if I'm alone for the rest of my life". I'm so, so happy with my boyfriend, and I imagine I'll be with him for many years to come.

    The right person found me. It'll happen for you, too. Especially since you've decided not to care ;)


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