Sunday, June 24, 2012

dating tips for girls, from a guy .

I feel like there is a lot of material out there that tells girls how they're supposed to act or what they're "supposed" to do in regards to getting a guy to like them, or to make themselves stand out from the others. I also feel like all of these things are written mostly by women in magazines that make you feel like shit, and therefore their advice is pretty much shit too. So I figured I'd take the time to write something up in regards to this topic. I suppose at the end of the day, these are really just my preferences, but I think that it might be at least worth thinking about.


1. Be yourself.
Don't be someone you're not. If you're going to be spending a lot of time with this person, sooner or later they'd find out you're faking. Wouldn't you much rather them like you for who you are and not for who you pretended to be? I love people who are really down to earth. They're nice to talk to and nice to spend time with.

2. Be comfortable.
You don't have to cake on makeup, you don't have to dress super nice (unless you guys both decided to go on a fancy date) and honestly I love a girl that is cool wearing a tshirt and jeans and a baseball cap and has no problem with it. People who are too concerned with their appearance come off as self-centered, arrogant and high-maintenance. If sweats are your thing, go for it! If the guy likes you for you he won't care what you're wearing.

3. Be open.
One of those tricks people often say to guys about having a good first date with conversation is to ask questions and let the girls talk while you listen. It works, but it's nice to have it go both ways. I have no problem sharing things if somebody asks, but often I won't if they don't ask. Though it depends, sometimes if I feel comfortable I can talk about anything, sometimes even personal things.

4. Don't be afraid to make a move.
Not all guys are super confident and suave. Not everyone is just going to be able to effortlessly sweep you off your feet. If you want to hold hands, go for it. If you want to cuddle up, go for it. If you want to run your hands through his hair, go for it. If I liked a girl I can't think of anything I would really object to in that regard. Obviously, if they like you, it's not like they're going to complain. Everyone can use a bit of cuddly company now and again.

5. Don't feel like you have to talk.
I know often times silence can feel awkward, and we are compelled to fill the space. But sometimes saying nothing is really nice too. You get to enjoy that peace and quiet and just sort of be with each other. It's not often in our lives when there is that sort of quiet, and sometimes it's really nice to step back and just enjoy it.

6. Pay attention.
If you really like someone you'll respect them enough to give them your full attention while you're out with them. I don't know about other guys, but I hate girls who are always playing with phones or whatever else is in their purse while we're out. It reflects very well upon you and is a very attractive thing to know that you've captured someone's full attention. I usually try to just turn my phone off or put it on silent when I'm out with a girl, or leave it in my car or something. I've even had girls literally 'put me on hold' so to speak to answer the phone on a date. And not to talk to a parent or something, but to just chat with a friend. Can you believe that?! It's honestly the biggest slap in the face and is very unattractive.

7. You don't need to dress like a hoe.
My buddy's dad's business partner always used to say, on the first date, go in the summer to a water park with a girl. When she loses all her makeup, if she's still attractive and you still like her, pursue the relationship. While this is a pretty devious and entertaining way of doing the no-makeup test, it makes sense -- people who 'paint up' as my friends and I call it usually are a bit rough without the makeup. You should be attracted to someone's natural beauty, not what took them 2 hours to create in the bathroom. So girls, you don't need to cake on makeup, you don't need to wear super short shorts and super low cut shirts. If anything it's more of a temptation than anything else. Again, just be you, be comfortable!

8. Be honest, be real.
This is the last one. Don't beat around the bush with people. Don't lead people on or play games with them, and I know that's very cliché, but it's true. Nobody likes a player and for the people that actually genuinely like you, it can be very hurtful, and the scars will run deep. Trust me, I know from experience. If you like someone you can be up front about it. The sooner you know if the feelings are mutual, the better, right?

I think that's a good head start. I'm not guaranteeing that I'm any sort of dating or relationship guru, but I think that a lot of these are pretty much common sense. If you ever wondered what goes on in a guy's head, this is one example -- but keep in mind I'm only one guy out of millions, so everyone is a little bit different. Good luck and happy dating!

12 comments:

  1. You forgot something - 'be realistic' - perfect man / woman DOESN'T exist! : )

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  2. Ah dating...I gotta say it doesn't really get any easier as you get older. But being true to yourself should always be your main objective. Like you say, your true colours will come out evetually.

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    1. I agree. I try my best to be transparent if I'm interested in someone. It's the best way!

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  3. This is so good Greg and everything you said is so true. Now someone should write from the girl's point of view of "dating tips for guys"

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    1. If you write it, I'd be happy to post it Tish! I'll of course give credit where credit is due too.

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  4. this is all very true and good! I love the waterpark idea, haha.

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  5. These are all great points, and number 5 is my favourite...(:

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  6. I surprisingly agree with all of this. I liked reading this and I agree with everything you said. Plus what someone else said, that there is no perfect man/woman.

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