what i look for .

First off, just wanna thank you, Cameron, for just being yourself today. We certainly had a nice little chat and you definitely brightened my day 'cause it was a bit of a rough one. You didn't really know how much it helped, but you did. So thanks. You are a stellar advisor :)

And now what I really wanna talk about is what I look for in that one special person -- I spend a lot of time mulling over my thoughts and thinking about relationships or potential relationships or anything like that. It's been on my mind lately, and just figured I'd get it all out in a list of some shape or form. So here goes.


There are usually a few big things that are always on the top of my list. The first is religion. I'm not saying that we need to have the same religion, and I know I'm a pretty religious guy, what with going to church every week, reading daily devotionals and doing retreats and such. I'm not asking for anything that extreme... just some semblance of religion; as long as you're into it in your own way, I'll generally be impressed.

Then there's sex -- it's hard to find someone these days that is saving themselves until marriage. I guess you can argue there's a lot of gray area within the category -- I suppose I could elaborate a lot more on that in another post if need be. I just don't want someone who's sluttin' it up all over the place -- not only is that unattractive, but it just reflects badly upon you in general, and shows a lot about your ideals and such, almost as if you don't really have any virtues and ideals.

Finally, I like someone I can trust. I've had some moderate trust issues with my family since I've left for college. I just don't know what I can tell them that will make them blow up in my face versus what will be cool and we can just have a civil discussion. I also have some personal things going on, whether temporary or otherwise, that I simply am not comfortable sharing. It takes a lot to dig through layers of me -- or at least I think so, I could be wrong.

Obviously I need to be physically attracted to someone... nothing is really going to happen if you're not I suppose, right? I'm not going to go into details of what I'm physically attracted to... that'd be kind of odd I think.

I really like someone who can sort of be my friend in addition to a girlfriend. Someone where we can just go out and hang out and have a good time, and not worry about the fact that we're in a relationship. That kinda ties into pda, which sometimes I like but anything over and above seems ridiculous to me... no need to show off the fact we're in a relationship (though that's not to say that I'm not happy to be dating you, of course). I know for sure that when I'm single it's kinda bothersome to see couples all over each other in public. There are private dates for that sort of thing, that's just the way I feel.

Sometimes people can seem like they're trying to be in constant contact with you -- which can get, simply put, extremely annoying. It's clingy, and you just gotta let other people live their lives sometimes and do things on their own. I've realized that I do that sometimes ... and it's something I sometimes have to work on. Sure, I do things with other friends, but I seem to almost be available too much. I guess it's just that I don't generally plan to do too many things, assuming that I won't have time to do them. Either way, I like checking in with someone at least every other day, even if it's just a short conversation and hello. If I'm dating you, it's definitely not just for your looks... I'm actually interested in you, and your life, and what you're doing. It's really all I ask to just chat here and there. I guess that really applies more to relationships that happen when you're not at the same school, or there is some distance between me and the other.

I'd prefer to have some of the same interests obviously, I mean, what else are we going to do with our time? I love laying around, cuddling up and watching a movie, or chilling in a hammock or something. But I also love walks, and often a lot of deep talks arise out of those walks, which I really love. Being able to connect with someone on that level is just special.

I'm a real outdoorsy person, whether it seems it or not... I love biking, whether it's just a ride in the park or a legit mountain biking ride. I like hiking, and would LOVE to go camping sometime soon because I haven't been in forever. I just like being outside, provided the weather is mild temperature and not humid. I'm a big winter guy too. Although who the heck chooses to date someone because of what season they like? haha.

The last thing is that I'm a big fan of long relationships. I think I've mentioned in the past that one of my worries about life is that I won't find the right person. So when I date someone it's because I want to sort of feel out what qualities I want in a future spouse, and I see some of those qualities in that person. I just like being able to connect with someone over a long period of time, and really get to know them rather than just have a fling or something like that. Usually, if I'm really like you, you can pretty much count on it that I'm in it for the long haul.

And I think that's really all I can think of for right now -- I'm sure there is more to be said, but for now, this seems like a decent list. Especially since I fell asleep writing it last night and had to finish it today. So, hopefully that was an interesting read.

Lyric of the day: "i can't find the words to tell you, I don't want to be alone, but now i feel like i don't know you"