Wednesday, March 2, 2011

my brother .

I'll be honest, we've lost touch a bit. Although at the same time, it's sort of a mutual understanding that we're cool. It's kind of weird the way guys are in that respect -- you can not see a buddy for months. But once you hang out, it's like you never left. Granted, I should be closer to my brother by default since I have lived with him so long. And yet, when I leave for school, we seem to drift somewhat.

From what I've been told, it's my understanding that it's hard to live at home as the "only child." We all grew up together -- we being myself, my older sister, and my younger brother. But as the kids get older, they start disappearing. My sister lives with some people in Philly, and I'm off at school. All of a sudden, my brother went from being one of 3 to an only child, in a sense.

I've never been able to fathom how only children do it. I wouldn't be able to put up with my parents all the time, taking all the hits they dish and dealing with everything they do and say on your own. I always know that my brother is on my side, and regardless, we always have some great talks.

One of the things people might find weird is that we still shared a room, all the way up through high school. When I go home, we're still in the same room that I've been in for years. And I like it that way. Sometimes we'll just lay in bed at night, talking. It's kinda weird; there doesn't even need to be eye contact. We can just talk. And I live for those conversations. Luckily, my brother is just old enough for us to be able to talk about a lot of the same struggles of daily life, and relationship issues and such, but he is young enough where I can try to give him an idea of what's to come.

There's no guide book to life. There's no instruction manual. There's really only one thing -- you. And as you feel your way through life, you gotta figure things out on your own. If I can make it a bit easier for my brother in the process... I sure as hell am gonna try.

So anyways, after all that -- we go back to losing touch. It seems to happen every time I fly back down to South Carolina. But I just happened to text him the other day -- and we really reconnected. And I'm going to do my best to stay close with him, not just in the you-know-I-always-have-your-back sorta way, but in the I-wanna-know-what's-going-on-and-check-in-with-you-every-so-often way. Basically, buddy, I love you -- you're the one family member I know I got for life ... and it's difficult to accept that the others may not be there for me supporting me like you always will. That tattoo is there for a reason and it makes me think about you all the time...
We really are brothers forever. And that's never going to change. I know I can talk to you about anything, and I like that we have talked about anything and everything over the past few days. We may live in different places, have different schedules, and be years apart. But in so many ways, we are the same. I like that.

Hope you had a good day at school, and that you're hanging in there. You know what I'm talking about. Stay strong kid. I got your back, and I'll always love you.

Lyric of the day:
"from those nights when we were both found at our best, now I could make this obvious"

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