I feel like cheating is something that has unfortunately now surrounded us in society. It's everywhere -- and you can't escape it. Given success rates of relationships, and more importantly of marriages, some may be so far pessimistic as to say, what's the point of relationships when the odds are against us?
It's true I think. The odds are against us. The important thing to remember is that even if they're against you, they're beatable. But not if you cheat. I had a conversation about this recently, and it just really was bugging me and on my mind. So here goes.
What provokes someone to cheat? Is it because you think you can get away with it? Is it because you drank too much and can't think clearly? (and for the record, that's not an excuse since you made the decision to drink) Even worse, if you were coherent enough to realize what was going on and went along anyways and just said "oh, my significant other won't find out." what kind of asshole are you? What kind of person thinks that they can have a monogamous and polygamous relationship at the same time? You can't have your cake and eat it too.
I think a lot of people that are cheaters don't realize just how serious their actions are, and how emotionally hurtful it will be to the person on the receiving end of the news, should they find out. It is like an emotional infection, that makes its way into every crevice of your body. There is disbelief, distrust, hate, anger, sadness... I'm thankful to say I've never been cheated on (to my knowledge at least) by previous girlfriends.
Why do we do things that are wrong? At this point in life, they can't be chalked up to ignorance. We all know better, and yet we go ahead and do it anyways. What's the point? Where does that get you? And how can you possible feel good about yourself afterward? When it comes to doing things you consciously know are wrong, my Dad always used to ask me how much my integrity was worth. I think a lot of it is people just wanting to see how much they can get away with before getting burned. And it's sick.
If you did cheat, best to tell them before they find out. Lord knows I would be way more pissed if I found out, knowing someone did not have the guts to just tell me to my face. That not only makes you a proponent of infidelity, but a coward also. Faced with a cheater, they gain no respect from anyone and may very well alienate themselves from their friends (unless the friends don't give a shit either, which means they're probably all one big giant group of assholes).
But let me spread some wisdom out there: I haven't been married. I've never been engaged. Heck, I've never even been in a relationship for more than a year. But I think it's safe to say that no matter how many sexual encounters you have, no matter how much you can get away with, no matter how old you are, or what your religion is, people inevitably want a good person to be with if they want to eventually get married. As time passes and the age numbers tick up steadily, people will want to settle down with someone. And no one wants to marry the hoe that passed herself around in high school. No one wants to marry the guy that fucked anything that walked in college. My point is, why be that person and pretend you're not later? Once you have that rep it's hard to escape it. People do talk, and with social media today, the information will fly. Run as hard as you want, but it will follow you.
For those of you out there that have never experienced this or done this, more power to you. I feel to some extent we are part of a bit of an exclusive group.. It seems that cheating has become much more common, and even, dare I say it acceptable. And we want someone decent to love so much that we will even contemplate forgiveness to that person for their mistakes.
My point is... if this ever happens to you, don't risk it again. Get rid of them. You don't deserve that, and they don't deserve to have you. And I hope and pray that for those that have been cheated on and don't know it, that they find out as soon as possible, because it really does disgust me. You can't have one guy for the emotional stuff and ten others for the sexual stuff. It doesn't work like that. And if you really want to cheat that badly? Just end the relationship. You don't deserve to have a relationship anyway if your thoughts are on cheating.